


Chasing the Stars

by boneswrites



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: -Ish, Alternate Universe - Detectives, Angst, Chris is the Father-Figure, Crime, Crime Thriller, Detective Leonard, Detectives, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, For Both Jim and Len, Hurt/Comfort, Husbands, I Tried, Injury, Jim and Nyota are Best Friends, Len and Spock are Partners, M/M, Major Character Injury, They Are Just Two Idiots Who Fell In Love, Writer Jim, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-02
Updated: 2016-03-02
Packaged: 2018-05-24 09:13:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 27,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6148690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boneswrites/pseuds/boneswrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He never thought it would happen to him. Detective Leonard McCoy finds himself in a tight situation, stuck in a room with an impossible task. Meanwhile, his husband, writer Jim Kirk, has no idea what happened to him. Leonard’s team must fight against time to find him, and everything is not what it appears to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chasing the Stars

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Okay, I had no idea this was going to be that long, but it kinda kept coming and I loved it. I've been a huge Star Trek fan for years so it escapes me why it took me this long to write for these two idiots. Anyway, better late than never! I tried my best with the whole crime aspect of this story, which I am nervous about. I hope you guys enjoy this, and please let me know what you think. Feedback make my day and is always appreciated! (Also, depending on the response to this story, I may very well turn it into a series with some follow-up or even flashback one-shots here and there, taking some of events of this story and exploring them in further detail.)

It wasn’t that Jim was overbearing or overprotective. The truth is that he worries; of course he worries. How can anyone expect him to relax at home, on his laptop and write the highly anticipated second installment to his bestselling crime novel when the actual hero of the story— _his_ hero was out doing just that, being a hero on the streets of Atlanta. The kind of hero who carries a badge and a gun and chases down criminals in the dead of night; that kind of hero. So, yes, how does anyone expect Jim to just lie back until his husband shows up for dinner? Much to his disappointment, Leonard had been taking the nightshifts for a little over a week now, something about not having enough men in the field and other crap Jim really doesn’t care about. He cares about the _why does it have to be Bones?_ He has a family, he has Jim and everyone knows the nightshifts are the most dangerous. Well, being a detective is dangerous all times of the day but it would help if the sun were shinning. He knew how it worked out there, he wasn’t blind just because he stays in most of his days to write about Leonard’s crimes through a character who isn’t Leonard. Someone gets killed, they send Leonard to investigate, they figure out who did it and then they go arrest them. But point is, it isn’t always that simple. In fact, it is never that simple. Almost always, the perpetrator will try to pull something funny and would still end up in handcuffs, but after doing some damage to the detectives.

Jim is always terrified of that, the fighting back. Leonard had come back home multiple times with bruises decorating his face, split lips with dried blood coating his chin and bloody torn knuckles. He’d head home immediately, not wanting to go to the hospital for the sake of not worrying Jim. On two occasions however, Jim had rushed into their bedroom and grabbed the first hoodie he saw, it being his or Leonard’s, and took the man to the hospital. The first time, Leonard had two broken ribs, which were far too close to puncturing his organs, the slightest pressure even when he was sleeping would have done it, the doctor had told them. The second time, Leonard had taken a blow to the head, courtesy of getting thrown against a dumpster. When he stumbled into their apartment, Jim had no idea how he managed to get himself home. A deep cut sat where Leonard’s hairline met his forehead, and he wasn’t making any sense, his words slurred together and half the letters eaten, and the wound still oozing blood down the man’s face. Forgetting about the hoodie, Jim grabbed his car keys and they took another trip to the ER.

Leonard had suffered a concussion, leaving him disoriented and the blood loss didn’t help matters either. They transfused him with blood and IV fluids and kept him overnight for observation. Jim slept on the unforgiving chair next to his husband the entire night.

The roles have definitely reversed since they got married. Before meeting Leonard, Jim was reckless and cocky, picking fights left and right. He’d lose more than he’d win, but he always wore that maddening smile of his. Causing way too much trouble in his regular bar, he was kicked out and told not to come back. He’d scare the customers, they told him. He went looking for a new hellhole to burn to the ground and that’s where he met Leonard.

The bar was an occasional hang out place for cops and detectives after a day’s worth of death, endless mourning and delivering bad news that none of them wanted to talk about. Instead, they go out and drink their weight in alcohol, hoping it would tear away the sound of a mother sobbing over the body of her teenage son, or a daughter clutching her heart in agony over the image of her beat up father. He was trying to keep two thugs from robbing his small convenience store. He was trying to get enough money to put his daughter through college.

Things they aren’t particularly open to talking about. Leonard usually didn’t bat an eye around, he’d walk straight to the bar and slump down on one of the stools. All three bartenders had known him by heart so less than a minute later, his one and only drink was placed in front of him. He’d down the bourbon in one go, and the next and the next. They kept coming. He had no one to go home to anyway, only his haunted dreams.

Jim had walked into the bar two months after Leonard had become a regular. It wasn’t a crowded night, seeing that it was in the middle of the week, but it was quite busy. Jim waddled his way through the crowd and ended up by the bar, standing next to the stool occupied by no other than Leonard McCoy.

“Is this seat taken?” Jim asked.

Leonard huffed, not meeting Jim’s eyes. “Plenty of other seats.”

“I know, but you see, I think this might end up being my lucky stool,” Jim raised an eyebrow.

That earned him Leonard’s attention. He looked up from the dirty bar and turned his face to look at this obnoxious—blue. That’s the first thing Leonard noticed. The sparkly blue eyes looking straight at him and the smirk sitting on the man’s face. “Make yourself comfortable.”

“Great,” Jim squealed, and managed to get his ass on the stool without toppling over. “Oh, you’re a detective?”

Leonard glared at Jim, who pointed to his flashy golden badge. “None of your damn business, kid.”

“ _Kid_? What am I, twelve?” Jim chuckled.

“You sure look like it. Surprised they let you through the door.”

Jim liked this scruffy, grumpy man. Something about him seemed different. His eyes roamed over the older man’s face and down his lean body, and suddenly all he wanted to do was to run his hand over the hidden skin and mark it as _his_. Heat rose in his face.

Jim extended his hand. “Jim Kirk.”

Leonard eyed the extended hand but took it, giving it a firm shake. “McCoy. Leonard McCoy.”

Jim ordered a beer and began chatting the night away with McCoy, the man giving him puffs of air for answers and never asking anything back. Jim was always the chatterbox and he liked it. And he didn’t really mind that he only heard Leonard’s voice a handful of times, he knew he wasn’t going to be forgetting that tone any time soon. They called it a night and Jim went home on his two feet rather than his usual state, crawling on all four and Leonard, well Leonard left the bar a little less cranky than when he first walked in.

Over the span of the following months, Leonard and Jim would occasionally sit together at the bar and dive into conversations, slowly learning things about each other here and there. It came naturally, whatever that was between them. And when Jim had gotten himself into a fight before Leonard arrived, he knew the man was a keeper when he burst through the door and roughly grabbed a guy who was kicking Jim in his stomach and threw him backwards, sending him flying into a table. Leonard heaved, watching the remaining three men pool to the ground. He kneeled down, and took Jim’s battered face gently into his hands.

“Jim? Are you okay?”

“B—Bones?”

Leonard huffed out a small chuckle. Somewhere along the line of knowing Jim, he had said something that eared him that nickname. However, he was too drunk to remember what he had actually said. It stuck, and Jim never called him ‘Leonard’ since. It got on the older man’s nerves, though, snarling at Jim whenever he used it, which was a lot. But in that moment, he would let it slide. Jim looked awful and Leonard didn’t want to make it worse by scolding the kid.

“I’ve got you, kid. Come on,” Leonard’s arm went around Jim’s back and pulled him up to his feet. Jim swayed but Leonard made sure to take on most of the man’s weight.

They stumbled out of the bar without falling over and Leonard hailed a cab. Jim needed to go to the hospital.

Without dragging much into things, both men have seen each other in their worst situations. Jim’s worry only increased as their relationship got more and more serious. He was proud of his Bones, proud beyond words but also worried out of his mind, constantly. His heart would race in his chest when Leonard wouldn’t pick up his phone, or if he was thirty minutes late coming home at night. Leonard had told Jim that he was being a little ridiculous but that was met by tears from the younger man.

“How can you say that? And to my face? Do you have any idea what I go through every time you put on that badge? I’m proud of you, Bones, I’m so proud of you but God…Every morning when you kiss me goodbye I can’t help but think it will be our last kiss, that it will be the last time I’m this close to feel your warmth, I watch you walk out and I wonder if you’ll ever walk through that door again,” Jim’s voice creaked. “I know how it works, I’m not an idiot. I know how many guys are lost in the line of duty. I know the statistics. And I know them because I am terrified that I will get a call from Pike telling me that…”

“Oh, come here darlin’,” Leonard wrapped his arms around Jim’s fragile being and took him into his chest. One hand was steady against the small of Jim’s back while Leonard’s other hand went up to cradle the back of Jim’s neck, his fingers moving swiftly through the short blond hair.

Jim’s body shook hard with the force of his sobs, feeling Leonard tighten his grip on him. He couldn’t hear the reassuring words coming from Leonard, instead his hands turned to fits, holding the fabric of Leonard’s polo shirt tightly between his fingers.

Leonard pulled back and took Jim’s wet face into his hands, doing his best to wipe away the river of tears staining his face.

“I can’t lose you, Bones,” Jim sniffed, fresh tears in his eyes.

“You won’t. I’m right here, and it would take more than just a couple of bad guys to take me away from you,” Leonard ran his thumbs over Jim’s cheekbones.

Leonard knew he couldn’t promise that. He wasn’t immortal. It’s the first thing they’re taught at the Police Academy: never promise life.

But Leonard was right about one thing: it _would_ take more than just a couple of bad guys to take him away from Jim.

Leonard let Jim push his face into his neck, and felt the tears sliding down his skin and wetting his shirt. He held Jim for the longest time, until the retching sounds stopped and his breathing evened out.

Jim pulled away with a sniffle and wiped away his tears. He looked at Leonard, who was wearing a comforting smile. Jim shakily returned it.

“You okay?”

Jim nodded.

“Good, cause you got tears and snot all over my shirt, you infant.”

Jim chuckled with a shrug of his shoulders. “Be careful what you sign up for. Wear the red one, I like the red one.”

Leonard leaned in, placing a tender kiss to Jim’s salty lips. “Red one it is.”

Ever since Leonard witnessed Jim’s mini-breakdown, he made it a must to always check in with his husband and to be a little more careful when he was on the streets. However, that consistent pattern would damage Jim beyond repair if it were to be broken.

One day, the pattern broke.

\---

Jim was nested on the couch between two pillows with a blanket thrown over his legs when he heard keys rattling on the other side of the door. Leonard was home. Jim got up and stood a few meters away from the door and watched as a very worn out Leonard pushed the door open and met his eyes.

A dark blue bruise sat under the detective’s left eye. Naturally.

Jim’s smile fell and a deep frown took its place as he leaped forward towards his husband.

“Bones,” Jim breathed.

“Hey, darlin’,” Leonard tried to smile but stopped short, pain shooting up in his cheek.

“What—”

“I’m fine.”

“Have you looked in a mirror?” Jim raised his eyebrows and lifted his hands to Leonard’s face, cautiously pressing his thumb around the bruise. Leonard winced and Jim immediately let go. “Sorry, sorry.”

“It’s alright, Jim.”          

Jim’s eyes travelled to Leonard’s hands and noticed his bloodied knuckles. “Rough arrest?”

Leonard chuckled. “That’s putting it lightly. The bastard is in lock up, though.”

“Good,” Jim nodded. “Come on, let’s get you patched up.”

Too tired to argue, Leonard let Jim lead him into the living room and down on the couch.

“I’ll be right back.”

Leonard knew what Jim left to do: get ice. A ritual that both of them were pretty used to after all these years.

Jim returned holding two ice bags in his hand. He sat down next to Leonard and told the older man to stretch out his body on the couch and put his head in Jim’s lap. Leonard kicked off his shoes and did exactly that, sighing and letting his body relax.

Jim made sure the injured hand was resting on top of Leonard’s other on his stomach when he placed the first ice bag on there and held the other one to Leonard’s face himself.

“You spoil me, kid,” Leonard looked up.

“Someone has to, old man.”

Leonard scoffed.

“What? You love me,” Jim teased.

“God help me, I do,” Leonard shook his head slightly.

Jim chuckled and leaned down, brushing his lips again Leonard’s forehead. “Do you wanna watch something specific?”

“Nah, kid, I’m going to fall asleep right here,” Leonard yawed.

True to his word, Leonard fell asleep less than five minutes later, his gun still holstered and his badge hanging on his belt.

\---

“Jim?”

“In here.”

Leonard walked into the living room to see Jim sitting on the dinning table with his eyes glued to his laptop as he viciously typed away.

“Morning,” Leonard grabbed his ready-made cup of coffee. It was a little cold, Jim must have made it a while ago. Still, he shrugged and took a sip.

“Morning,” Jim murmured back, completely invested in his writing.

“How’s it going?” Leonard asked, standing behind him.

Jim sighed and straightened his back, groaning at the stiffness that met him. “Slow. Too slow. They want a draft in two weeks. Two weeks, Bones!”

“Relax, you can do it, darlin’,” Leonard put his cup down and brought his hands to Jim’s shoulder blades. He frowned at the tense muscles under his touch. “You’ve been working yourself ragged,” he began to slowly massage Jim’s muscles.

“I don’t have a choice,” Jim whispered, closing his eyes and leaned back into Leonard’s grip.

“If you keep this pace up, you won’t last another two weeks. Jim, you’re barely sleeping and barely eating, don’t you think I haven’t noticed because I’m away most of the day. I can tell you know.”

“This book isn’t like the first one, Bones. The first one had seven different crimes and they weren’t connected. They were stand-alones, but this book, this one is only one crime and it’s longer than the first book. I don’t need to tell you that, you solved those crimes after all. The pressure is on and it isn’t helping. No one knew who I was when the first one was published but now…now everyone does and they’re expecting something huge and what if I don’t deliver that? What if it isn’t as good as the first one?”

“Hey, Jim, come on, don’t say that,” Leonard stopped and moved around Jim, kneeling in front of him and taking his hands into his own. “It’s going to be better than the first one, I know it will be. I know the pressure can’t be helping but they’re expecting big things, like you said, and you shouldn’t take that the wrong way. That should be your motivation. And everyone knows who you are because you are damn talented, kid. When I first read your stuff, I honestly thought you were lying to me when you told me you wrote it.”

“What?”

Leonard nodded. “But then I kept reading your stuff and I figured that yeah, you’re _that_ good. Jim, your writing is full of soul and spirit and hope. You speak to people’s hearts and it’s damn powerful stuff. It’s going to be better than the first one.”

Jim looked into Leonard’s hazel eyes for a few moments and then leaned forward, resting their foreheads together.

“You know what you need?” Leonard asked, not breaking away.

“What?”

“You need to get out of this house.”

Jim pulled away and looked at Leonard, the other man spoke before he could.

“I know what you’re going to say,” Leonard brought up his hands in defense. “I know how much this book means to you but you really can’t keep going on like this. You’ve been in here for two weeks. You need some fresh air. It will help, I promise.”

Jim sighed, thinking about the older man’s words.

“How about you get us some lunch and pass by the precinct?” Leonard suggested.

Jim nodded.

“Okay then, I’ll call you. And you, darlin’, are going to bed at nine tonight.”

“You’re such a mom, Bones,” Jim’s lips tugged into a small smile.

Leonard kissed the side of Jim’s head but Jim grabbed Leonard’s face and locked their lips together.

“I love you, Bones.”

“I love you too, Jim.”

\---

Jim passed by Leonard’s favorite dinner and bought his favorite club sandwich along with his personal favorite burger and made his way to the precinct. He was a little early but he liked hanging around. Everyone knew him and he knew everyone, it was a nice change of pace for the day. Leonard was right, Jim realized, when he stepped outside of the apartment building. The fresh air hitting his face had already begun to make him feel better and the walk he took definitely lifted his spirits.

He pushed the swinging doors open and walked into the busy station, phones going off and officers answering them and people shuffling left and right, yelling halfheartedly across the room to each other. Jim knew how to stay out of their way, his eyes landing on Leonard’s desk.

The older man was hunched over his desk, scribbling notes on a paper in front of him with his hand holding the phone to his ear. Feeling Jim’s presence, Leonard looked up, and their eyes met.

Jim walked over, a smile on his face and the paper bag in his hand. Leonard returned the smile but didn’t speak, instead holding out five fingers to Jim, who understood what it meant. Jim nodded and pressed a kiss to Leonard’s hair, placing the bag on the desk. He turned around and walked towards an office he knew by heart.

The door was closed, so Jim knocked and waited. He heard a ‘come in’ through the wood and pushed the door open.

“Surprise!”

The man by the desk looked up from the computer, his face breaking into a grin. “Jim, come on in. It’s been a while.”

“Yup, I know. It was my idea to drop by.”

The man raised an eyebrow.

“Alright, fine, it may have been Bones’s idea,” Jim chuckled, dropping on one of the chair in front of the desk.

“Len said he was going to talk to you about going out a little. He’s been worried about you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” the man nodded. “Don’t get me wrong, he’s almost always huffing and puffing and cursing about what you put him through. He says you’re giving him all his grey hair.”

“Oh, come on, Chris, what _I_ put him through? More like what he puts me through,” Jim sighed.

“I know it can’t be easy on you Jim, this lifestyle. Hell, I’m in charge of all of these men and my heart leaps in my chest whenever they go out and I can’t remember a single day when I wasn’t a cop. But Len does need your support.”

“I support him, God, I support him so much, Chris and I’m proud to say that he’s my man, but…”

“But what?”

“Nothing, forget it,” Jim tried to shrug it off.

“Jim.”

“He doesn’t know this, but I am constantly worrying. I don’t know how to stop worrying.”

Chris scoffed.

“What?” Jim raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, he knows you worry.”

“He does?”

“Of course he does, Jim, he’s a detective, he’s supposed to be observant.”

Jim swallowed and nodded.

“How’s your book going?”

“Slow,” Jim huffed.

“I can’t wait to read it,” Chris smiled.

“You and all of America.”

“Food’s getting cold,” Leonard joined, leaning against the doorframe.

“There you are. I was starting to think you stood me up,” Jim teased, getting to his feet.

“He’ll have to deal with me if he ever does that,” Chris raised an eyebrow.

“I thought we were past the threats, Pike,” Leonard said.

“Never past them, McCoy, never.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Leonard nodded.

“We should get going,” Jim took Leonard’s hand. “Speaking of food, we should grab dinner the three of us.”

“That’s a good idea,” Chris agreed. “I need to catch up with you two idiots.”

“I’m there,” Leonard nodded.

“We’ll set it up and let you know, Chris.”

“Alright then, I’ll drop off the file on Spock’s desk and call me if you need me,” Leonard said.

Leonard grabbed a closed paper file when they passed by his desk and dropped it two desks away. He almost ran into his partner at the door.

“Spock,” Leonard nodded.

“Leonard, Jim.”

“I dropped off the file on your desk, before you ask, yes you can go through it again, knock yourself out.”

“I will,” Spock nodded.

“Great, we’re going to have lunch, I’ll see you later,” Leonard tugged on Jim’s arm and walked out before Spock could comment.

“Does he always call you ‘Leonard’?” Jim giggled when they were standing on the sidewalk.

“Beats calling me ‘detective’, kid.”

“Ooooh, I thought you liked being called ‘detective’,” Jim smirked.

“Not by everyone, and certainly not by Spock. To the force I’m either ‘Detective McCoy’ or ‘Len’ if we’re friends. Spock is just…Spock. I told him to drop the ‘Leonard’ multiple times but it’s like it goes in one ear and out the other, so I gave up.”

“Poor Bones,” Jim teased.

“I’m too damn hungry for this, Jim, come on.”

\---

A few days later, Leonard managed to get off work early and surprised Jim. Jim clung to the larger man for a good five minutes, using the ‘I’ve missed you so much’ excuse but Leonard wasn’t going to complain so he wrapped his arms around his husband.

The sun went down less an hour later and Leonard found himself sitting on the couch, reading the almost-ready draft of Jim’s book while the other man threw together some pasta with meatballs for dinner.

“This is good, Jim,” Leonard looked up and settled the patch of paper on the table in front of him. He walked into their open kitchen and stood behind Jim, his arms going around his waist and Leonard’s chin dropping on Jim’s shoulder. “Even though I don’t remember it happening like that at all.”

“Yeah?” Jim turned his face to look at Leonard.

Leonard nodded. “It’s uh, it has a different aura I guess. Which is good, you don’t want it to be too…depressing.”

“It’s a crime novel, Bones,” Jim rolled his eyes.

“I know that, you idiot. You have that crime because of me,” Leonard reminded Jim. “And that detective is me.”

Jim raised an eyebrow.

“Okay, he’s not _me_ but he’s me, and you know it.”

“He’s _based_ on you, Bones, but he’s not you. He smiles more than you do for one.”

Leonard chuckled and pressed his lips to the exposed area of Jim’s neck. “Whatever gets you through the day, cowboy,” Leonard whispered, his warm breath leaving goosebumps on the younger man’s skin.

“Hmm,” Jim hummed happily.

“I’m proud of you, kid.”

After dinner, both men found themselves stumbling over each other and into their bedroom, their hands knotted in each other’s hair, pulling and grunting, teeth clashing and tongues tangled in a heated storm. Neither knew which moan belonged to which man but they didn’t care. Leonard pushed Jim backwards on the bed and climbed on top of him, pinning him down with his body.

“Get off me, old man,” Jim huffed, a smirk finding its way on his face.

“That what you really want?” Leonard challenged, raised an eyebrow.

“Uh huh.”

“We’ll see about that,” Leonard teased and began grinding himself slowly against Jim.

Jim’s body jerked with excitement at the movement, clearly betraying the man.

“That’s what I thought,” Leonard breathed and bent down, claiming Jim’s mouth.

Jim responded quickly, kissing the man back and attempting to rid him of his shirt. Too many layers, still too many layers sat between them.

Leonard broke away to yank the shirt off and then connected their lips again.

They were both panting heavily by the time their clothes were forgotten in a pile on the floor but the fun was just beginning.

\---

Jim’s body woke up before his eyes, he stretched his arm in search of the familiar warmth next to him but instead, his arm fell flat on the mattress. Confused, Jim popped open one of his eyes and saw that the space usually taken up by his husband was empty, and cold. Jim sat up and grabbed the only pair of boxers lying on the ground and slid them on, following the smell of freshly cooked breakfast.

Leonard was standing against the stove with no shirt on and his sweatpants hanging loosely on his hips. Jim leaned against the wall with his arms crossed over his shoulder as he watched Leonard with a loving yet possessive look. That man was his.

He couldn’t help but notice the clenching of the strong muscles under Leonard’s skin whenever the older man would either pour some batter in the pan or flip a pancake. Jim’s mouth watered, not entirely sure whether it was because of the pancakes or the sight of Leonard’s lean body.

Jim walked up to his husband and wrapped his arms tightly around his broad chest, pressing his cheek against Leonard’s back.

“Morning, Bones.”

“Morning, darlin’,” Leonard leaned back slightly. “How’d you sleep?”

“Great, but you were gone and the bed was cold.”

Leonard chuckled and turned around, taking all of Jim into his arms. “I wanted to surprise you.”

“I am surprised,” Jim nodded.

“Good,” Leonard pressed a kiss to Jim’s bedridden hair.

“Hmm,” Jim hummed with satisfaction and closed his eyes, Leonard’s strong heartbeat evident in his ear. He relaxed and let the sound sink and mend to his soul.

They stayed like that until Leonard had to flip the last of the pancakes onto the stack.

“Breakfast is served.”

Half an hour before the start of his shift, Leonard got a call from Pike. Two bodies have been found downtown. Leonard hung up and got to his feet, Jim following in his footsteps.

Jim, still in his underwear, watched as Leonard stepped out of his sweatpants and into a pair of dark jeans and slipped on a yellow polo shirt. He reached for his gun and secured it and clipped on his golden badge to his belt.

“It sounded big,” Leonard looked at Jim.

Jim nodded, his eyes not leaving Leonard. Something twisted in Jim’s gut.

“I have a feeling it’s going to be a long day,” Leonard sighed.

“I’ll be here when you get home,” Jim promised.

“I know,” Leonard stood in front of Jim and embraced his husband in a strong hug. “You always are.”

“Be careful, please,” Jim whispered against Leonard’s shoulder.

“I promise.”

Jim nodded and leaned back, brushing his lips softly against Leonard’s and let them linger there for a few moments. “I love you, Bones.”

“Love you, too, Jim. I’ll call you when I can.”

Jim let go of Leonard and fell backwards on the bed, watching as he walked out of the bedroom.

“Oh, and don’t drown yourself in that book of yours,” Leonard’s distant voice spoke.

Jim chuckled and shook his head. His heart sank a little when he heard the front door close.

After sitting still for a minute or so, Jim crawled under the covers and closed his eyes, suddenly tired.

He fell asleep on Leonard’s side of the bed.

\---

Jim jerked awake some hours later, disoriented and hazed. He rubbed his eyes and reached for his phone. He pressed on the home button, the screen shinning in his eyes. He winced, shutting one eye and saw that he had a message through his blurred vision: _Bones_. It was received two hours ago. Damn, Jim had really needed some sleep.

Jim swiped his finger across the screen to open the text and ran his eyes over the words.

_Hey, darlin’. Just got to the scene, seems like a big and complicated case. Don’t worry if you don’t hear from me – it’s going to be a crazy day. I’ll call or text whenever I can. I’ll see ya when I get home. Love ya, kid._

Jim smiled and typed a quick reply and sent it. He stayed in bed for a couple of more minutes, enjoying being immersed in the scent of his husband. He found his fingers going to his wedding band and rolling it on his finger. Jim did that unconsciously whenever he was nervous. It was actually Leonard that had noticed and told Jim about it.

Jim grabbed his phone and checked for a response from Leonard. Finding none, he shook his head and attempted to slow down his heartbeat. Nothing eased the dark pit in his stomach.

\---

Keeping his phone near, Jim, needless to say, ended up drowning himself in his book. He sat down when the sun was still high in the sky and didn’t realize when it began to get lower and lower, eventually disappearing from the purple horizon. Somehow, the words kept coming and fell together perfectly, Jim loving the way it sounded. He missed whenever this would happen, when inspiration would spontaneously pour everywhere and he was satisfied with what he was producing.

Feeling the muscles near his shoulder blade spasm, he paused and stretched, finally taking notice to the darkness that has settled outside. He frowned, realizing that Leonard had neither called or texted in the past…God knows how many hours. He hasn’t even replied to Jim’s text.

Panic began rising in his nerves as he snatched his phone and touched Leonard’s name in the contacts favorites list. He pushed the phone to his ear and started pacing around.

“Come on, Bones. Pick up, pick up,” Jim whispered nervously.

“You’ve reached Leonard McCoy, I can’t reach my phone—”

“Damn it!” Jim yelled when he got Leonard’s voicemail. He waited. “Hey Bones, it’s me. I’m, uh, I’m just checking it. Trying not to worry. Okay, call me as soon as you hear this. I love you. Okay,” Jim hung up and clutched the phone tightly in his palm.

He sat down on the edge of the couch and waited, tapping his bare foot on the floor. He had no idea how much time had passed when his phone lit up and rang in his grip.

Jim relaxed for a split second, but the worry and anxiety crept back up when he read the caller ID: Chris Pike.

“Chris,” Jim answered.

“Jim,” Chris sighed, sounding…wrong.

“What? What happened?” Jim breaths were coming in quickly.

“Jim—”

“I can’t reach Bones and now you’re calling…Chris, tell me,” Jim’s voice shook.

“Jim, listen to me—”

“No! Is he alive? Chris, is he alive?!” Jim asked frantically, unable to control himself anymore. He dreaded the answer he would get.

“I think it’s best you come down here,” Chris said, remaining as calm as he could.

“Why? To identify him? Chris, is he alive?” A tear rolled down Jim’s heated face.

“I don’t know. We don’t know anything for sure.”

“You—you don’t know?” Jim’s voice cracked. “So he could be dead right now.”

“Don’t do that to yourself, Jim. Just—please, come down here. I’ll explain everything.”

“Okay,” Jim sniffed and hung up, throwing on a pair of converse and grabbed his hoodie, keys and phone and bolted.

\---

Jim made it to the precinct in record time. He blasted through the doors and took in the sight in front of him. It was chaotic, detectives rushing around, too many on the phones and too much chatter echoing off the walls. They all looked up at Jim but didn’t hold their gazes, looking away quickly. He never wanted to get those looks. He knew what those looks meant.

He swallowed and walked straight towards Chris’s office, not even bothering to knock. He stormed in and stood in front of Chris’s desk, the man was on the phone. Jim turned around and saw Spock sitting near the corner of the office, holding a bag of ice to the back of his head.

“Spock?”

“Jim,” Spock nodded.

“What happened?”

“That’s what we’re trying to find out,” Chris’s voice broke Jim away from Spock.

“I don’t get it. Spock is here, where the hell is Bones?”

“We don’t know, Jim,” Chris sighed. “The bodies were taken to the morgue and the evidence was sent to the crime lab, Leonard and Spock were making their final round when Spock said that everything went black. He woke up and Leonard was nowhere to be found.”

“Wait, so, you’re saying someone took him? That someone kidnapped Bones?” Jim’s eyes went wide.

“That’s what it seems like, yes. Unfortunately, there aren’t any cameras in the area, so no footage.”

“Oh my, God,” Jim whispered, dropping on one of the seats in front of Pike’s desk. He took his face into his hands and tried to collect himself, tried to control his breathing. “I should have known something was wrong.”

“Jim, there’s no way you could have known.”

“I didn’t hear from him in hours, Chris. I only got one text when he arrived at the scene and that’s it, and I didn’t notice because I was too busy writing that damn book,” Jim grinned his teeth together. “He told me not to drown in writing,” a lifeless snort escaped Jim’s lips. “And that’s exactly what I did. I didn’t even notice the sun going down,” his face fell.

Chris got out of his seat and walked around his desk, kneeling in front of Jim and taking the shaking man’s face into his warm hands. “We’ll get him back, Jim. Even if it’s the last thing I do, I will get Leonard back.”

“This is what I was always afraid of,” Jim quivered, tears rising in his blue eyes.

Chris slowly ran his thumbs against Jim’s skin. “Leonard is like my son, and I always, always make sure my boys are home.”

Jim nodded and threw his arms around Chris, letting the salty tears roll freely down his cheeks as he clutched the back of Chris’s uniform shirt for dear life.

“I promise you, Jim, I promise,” Chris hand went up to cradle the back of Jim’s head, the short hair swaying easily with the movement of his hand.

“Captain, I believe they have found something,” Spock walked into the office.

Neither Chris nor Jim noticed Spock leaving the room before.

All three men were gathered around Montgomery “Scotty” Scott’s desk, the detective in charge of Leonard’s kidnapping. He was one of the best they’ve got, after all their best detective could not solve his own case, now could he.

“One of the traffic cams picked this up,” Scotty pressed play and showed them the footage. “We felt something was iffy about it so we tracked it back through the cams leading up to this intersection and we believe it was in fact leaving the crime scene.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, Captain. There is no sign of this car in any of the traffic cam footage before the scene. It only appears after the scene address.”

“But couldn’t it have come from any other street?” Jim asked.

“We’ve checked all footage, it appears the only route of this car is from the crime scene.”

“Did you run the plates?”

“Aye, but it isn’t good,” Scotty sighed and clicked on the keyboard again, bringing up a digital file. “The car was reported stolen two days ago.”

“Damn it,” Chris sighed. “Put out an APB on the car and set up a hotline for the public, we need all the eyes we could get.”

“Aye,” Scotty nodded and began working.

“Spock, I need you to go through all the cases you and Leonard worked on, see if there’s anything in there that would help us narrow down who could have taken him. Look for any threats or anyone who would have something against Leonard. He wrote everything down, let’s hope it was worth it, and let Chekov help you,” Chris ordered.

“Yes, Captain,” Spock nodded and went to retrieve the case files.

“Sulu, how is the trace on Leonard’s cell going?”

“Still nothing, Captain,” Sulu turned to face Chris. “It’s offline, there’s nothing I can do.”

“Okay, keep an eye out,” Chris sighed.

“What can I do?” Jim asked, walking back into the Captain’s office.

“What? Jim—”

“I know what you’re going to say, but I can’t sit on the sidelines while we have no idea where Bones is,” Jim defended. “There were no threats, no weird phone calls, no one following us, I don’t understand…this just happened out of the blue.”

“Jim, maybe you should go home.”

Jim shook his head. “I can’t, I can’t go home, Chris. I can’t sit there and pretend nothing is wrong when my husband is God knows where. I won’t do that. If there’s anything I can do to help bring him home, please let me do it.”

“There’s nothing for you to do, just…you can wait here and keep your phone on in case Leonard reaches out. I’ll keep you in the loop but stay out of the way.”

Jim nodded and settled down on the couch, his phone on the table in front of him. He clasped his hands together and leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees. And he waited. The screen remained dark.

\---

“Captain, we found the car,” Scotty emerged into Pike’s office two hours later. “It was abandoned, crime scene’s on their way.”

Chris shot up from his leather chair and rushed out, Jim hot on his heals. They were almost at the doors when Chris noticed Jim behind him.

“Jim, no, you’re not coming,” Chris turned around, his hand going up to press against Jim’s chest.

“What? No, Chris, come on! I can’t wait around any longer!”

“No, Jim, that’s final. You’ll wait here. I’m not risking you out there,” Chris shook his head.

An angry huff left Jim’s parted lips, his hands going to his hips. “What exactly am I supposed to do here?”

“Wait for me to come back,” Chris said, pressing a kiss to Jim’s forehead and ran out.

Jim’s shoulders fell when he heard the sirens wail and slowly disappear into the distance. He turned around and walked back into Chris’s office, not daring to meet anyone’s eyes. He tried to keep the burning tears as bay, but failed.

\---

Chris jumped out of his Jeep and rushed over to the abandoned black SUV, the windows were tinted and the four doors were wide open. The crime scene investigators were already working on the car, trying to gather as much evidence as they can. Pike snapped on the standard black rubber gloves and went around, spotting Scotty standing in front of the popped trunk.

“Anything?”

“Nothing,” Scotty shook his head. “It seems to have been wiped down, and there’s blood in the trunk.”

“Leonard’s?” Chris’s heart sank.

“There’s no way to be sure until it’s sent to the lab for analysis but that would be my guess,” Scotty nodded, his face grim.

Pike leaned over to inspect the pool of blood himself. It wasn’t significant, meaning that the wound is not life threatening but still, it was a substantial amount of blood. He didn’t like it. Chis swallowed, and tore his eyes from the red.

“It’s dried,” Pike told Scotty.

“Appears to have been here for two hours,” Scotty nodded.

“Is there anything else?”

“Nothing else so far, Captain.”

\---

“Hey, Jim.”

Jim’s head turned towards the door, and saw Nyota Uhura standing by the door, a small smile on her face. He nodded.

Nyota is Spock’s wife, and together they have a two-year-old daughter, Amanda, named after Spock’s mother. She is also Jim’s best friend, another weird coincidence when he had met Leonard. Not only was Chris Leonard’s commanding officer, but his partner was married to Jim’s best friend. It was a little weird how they never crossed path before bumping into each other in that bar. If that wasn’t the world’s way of saying that Jim and Leonard were meant to be together, then God knows what the world is saying.

“Pike send you to babysit?” Jim whispered.

“No,” Nyota shook her head, approaching the couch and taking a seat next to Jim. “He suggested. I was on my way when Spock called me, anyway. I knew you would be here.”

“Well, there’s no where else I can be right now,” Jim sighed.

Nyota reached out and took Jim’s hand, giving it a supportive light squeeze. “How are you holding up?”

“Barely. I don’t know what to do. I’m lost, Ny.”

“I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere. They will find him, Len will be fine.”

“How do you know that?” Jim’s voice broke.

“I don’t, but I know Len, and he would never leave you behind, not like this.”

“I’m so scared I’ll never see him again,” a tear fell from Jim’s eye.

Nyota let go of Jim’s hand and wrapped her arms around him in a firm hug instead. “You’ll see him again, Jim, you will.”

Jim didn’t reply, he let the woman hold him and allowed the tears to roll free, too tired to control them anymore.

Nyota held Jim until his body stopped shaking and his breathing evened out.

Jim pulled back and wiped his cheeks. “I’m supposed to have the draft ready in a few days. That’s what I was doing today, working on the book and I don’t know if I can do that anymore. I don’t think I can finish this book.”

“Jim, no,” Nyota shook her head. “You’ve been working so hard on this one.”

“I don’t care about the book. How can I when Bones is…”

“Listen to me, Jim, that’s not the way to deal with this. I know you’re scared, I know you’re worried, I am too. Len has become family, just like you have. But giving up is not the way,” she clasped his shoulder.

“I’m not giving up.”

“If you don’t give them that draft, you are giving up. Imagine what Len would say when he finds out that you didn’t finish the book?”

Jim stayed silent.

“He would not want that. He told me he can’t wait to read it, and he will read it, Jim.”

“I can’t,” Jim shook his head. “I can’t even go back home.”

“You won’t be alone.”

“I have to stay here, Ny. I can’t leave.”

“We won’t take long.”

Jim hesitated before nodding.

“All right then, let’s get going,” Nyota got up and got Jim to his feet. “Give us a call if they’re back before us, would you, Chekov?”

“I will,” Chekov nodded.

\---

Jim and Nyota got back to the precinct with two bags before Chris and the rest of the cavalry. They settled back down in Pike’s office, Jim unpacked his laptop but before he could switch it on, he heard Chris’s voice barking orders outside the office. He got to his feet and stood by the door.

“Let’s wait for the analysis to come from the lab before jumping to any conclusions. In the meantime, I want you to run a wide search of the area, find any place where they could be holding up.”

Scotty nodded and got to work.

Chris walked into his office and shut the door behind him. He gave Nyota a quick kiss on her cheek and turned to face Jim.

“What did you find?”

“We found the car, but it was abandoned and it was empty.” Pike took a deep breath before continuing, “we also found blood in the trunk, it was sent to the lab for analysis.”

“Bones’s blood?”

“We think so. But the blood loss doesn’t seem life threatening.”

Jim felt his heart hammering against his chest about to burst into pieces.

Noticing the change in Jim, Pike quickly placed both hands on Jim’s shoulder to keep him in place. “Don’t go all panicky on me now, Jim, I need you to breathe. It sounds bad, I know, but we’re on it. We’ve got this. Remember what I told you, I will not let anything happen to Leonard.”

“What if it already happened?”

“We don’t know that, don’t go there, don’t do that to yourself. Keep thinking about Leonard, and how you’ll get to see him soon, and hold him. You’ll be fine, both of you.”

“I can’t shake off this feeling.”

“I know that, believe me, I know, but you can’t let this get the better of you.” Chris then noticed Jim’s bags, “I see you’ve packed.”

“Yeah, we took a quick trip,” Nyota spoke up. “He’s going to finish working on his draft, the deadline is soon.”

Chris nodded and walked around to his desk and opened a drawer, grabbing his keys. He unhooked a silver one and handed it over to Jim. “You’re in no shape to stay at your place, you’re going to stay with me.”

Jim took the key and slid it into his pocket without arguing. “Thank you, Chris. But can I stay here for a bit?”

“Sure, Jim.”

\---

Cold and pain: the first two things Leonard thought about when he began swimming towards consciousness. His eyelids felt like they were screwed shut, excreting too much effort to open them. When he succeeded, he narrowed his eyes, trying to figure out where he was. He was sitting upright against an icy wall with no shirt on, his hands bound in front of him. His head throbbed and he felt the dry, sticky blood coating the side of his face. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to remember what exactly had happened. The last thing to come to mind was Spock’s distant voice, telling him that everything was accounted for and they didn’t miss anything and then darkness. Then he woke up.

He knew what this situation is, any idiot would know. He got kidnapped. No idea why or by whom, but the windowless, dimly lit room he was thrown in in this moment, along with the sinking feeling in his gut could not make that fact clearer. He knew they happen, these things, but he never thought it would happen to him. Especially since he always promised Jim…Leonard’s heart sank into his knees. Jesus Christ, _Jim_.

Leonard didn’t have much time to think about his husband when the metal door swung open and cut his train of thought. He swallowed down, his dry throat aching as he felt it tear him apart inside. A man walked in, wearing dress pants and a white shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Leonard frowned, the man definitely looked out of place. He was expecting…well, he wasn’t exactly sure what he was expecting but it definitely ain’t that. He wasn’t expecting a businessman, damn it.

The man crouched in front of Leonard and ran his eyes over Leonard’s face and down his body, not touching the man. Leonard tried to keep a straight face, demanding to know what the hell is going on.

“So nice of you to join us, Detective,” the man gave Leonard a snarky smile and stood up.

“What the hell do you want from me?” Leonard kept his voice low.

“We’ll get to that in a second,” the man nodded and began walking around the tiny space. “You don’t remember me, do you?”

“Should I?” Leonard raised an eyebrow.

“Funny thing, I would think so. I read everywhere that detectives never forget their victims. It’s a shame to know that you have no heart.”

Leonard rolled his eyes and let out a huff of air.

“Speaking of reading, your husband’s work is getting quite the attention, isn’t it? Personally, I’m a huge fan.”

That earned him Leonard’s attention, and his death stare. “What did you say?”

A bitter laugh escaped the man’s lips, a smug smirk falling on his face. “That got your attention, didn’t it? It’s true, your husband really is talented.”

“What does Jim have to do with this?” Leonard asked carefully.

“Everything…and nothing,” the man continued pacing.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Leonard sneered.

“Imagine my surprise when I read that the works of Jim Kirk is based on none other than Detective Leonard McCoy, who has solved all those intense and impossible cases. A decorated hero. Well in fact, that isn’t the Detective McCoy that I remember.”

“Are you going to keep going around in circles or are you heading somewhere?”

“The Detective McCoy I remember is arrogant, and selfish and lacks intuition and intelligence. He has no instinct and is irresponsible,” the man spat, his eyes turning dark and his face building with anger. “You really don’t remember me.”

Leonard stayed silent, his eyes studying the face just inches away from his own. It felt familiar, it really did, but Leonard could not place it.

“Let me help you out,” the man sighed. “October ninth, nineteen-ninety eight.”

That did it for Leonard. His blood ran cold in his veins, his heart thudding loudly against his ribcage. He remembered that date. That day haunted him for a long, long time. He swallowed again and dared to meet the man’s eyes. “Mr. Lewis,” Leonard breathed.

A heartless laugh echoed in the cold room. “Good to know you got one thing right.”

“I don’t—what do you want from me?”

“Just what every good citizen wants from the best detective in town. Justice.”

“Justice for what? I—”

“I’ll leave you to think about that,” Mr. Lewis walked over to the door and gave it a knock. A moment later, the heavy door opened and a young man rolled in a small table and left. Mr. Lewis—John, if Leonard remembers correctly—removed the dirty piece of cloth covering some tools. Leonard froze.

“We’re going to get creative, Leonard,” John took one final glance at Leonard and left, slamming the door behind him.

Leonard jumped with a shudder at the sound, a chill running down his spine. He slumped backwards and closed his eyes, wondering what on earth he had done to end up here.

He couldn’t help but drift to Jim, and what the younger man must be going through at this moment. Was he alone? He shouldn’t be alone. He shouldn’t be going through any of this. Leonard knew that you can’t help who you fall in love with, he never thought he would fall for someone like Jim, but he did. He fell in love with that cheerful, golden-hearted, optimistic kid and he feared more than anything that Jim would be none of those things if Leonard didn’t make it back to him. He wouldn’t allow himself or anyone else to take those breathtaking qualities away from Jim. The things he loves most about him. Leonard imagined Jim’s vibrant blue eyes in the darkness that lie before his own, full of life and light and hope. He held on to that, with everything he’s got. His lifeline. His left thumb immediately felt out for his ring finger, and he relaxed, letting out a broken breath. His wedding band still sat there. He began twisting it left and right on his finger, trying to be as close to his husband as he possibly can be and whispered a silent promise, _I will come back to you_.

He opened his eyes and looked down at his bare chest, realizing for the first time since he woke up that his Saint Michael pendant was gone.

\---

Sitting on the couch in Pike’s office, Jim was also playing with the silver band on his finger. His laptop was switched on, staring at him but Jim had only managed to get himself to concentrate for twenty minutes. He had no idea what time it was nor did he care. He fell backwards, his back resting against the couch pillows. Nyota walked into the office, holding a sandwich and a bottle of juice.

“You haven’t had anything to eat in God knows how long,” she offered them to Jim.

He took the sandwich and juice from her hands and placed them next to his laptop. “I don’t really feel like eating.”

“I know, but you need your strength.”

“Anything new?”

“Not yet,” Nyota shook her head.

“Where the hell are you, Bones?” Jim whispered and closed his eyes, Leonard’s heartbeat strong in his ears, summoning it from his memory.

\---

Leonard racked his brain trying to understand why this man took him and what could come out of it. He hasn’t wronged John Lewis—except…except if you count not being able to catch his wife’s murderer.

Leonard let his head fall backward against the unforgiving rough wall and blew out an ‘oof’ when his head protested against the action.

It was a tough case, and he was younger, much younger than he is now. And he was inexperienced. With that realization, all the accusations John threw at him about the Detective McCoy he remembered were true. He was cocky, thinking that he could solve any case, until the case of Sarah Lewis found its way into his lap. They say every detective and cop has one case that isn’t like any of the rest. For Leonard, it was that case.

It had begun as a kidnapping case and lasted just five days. When they finally had enough information to know where Sarah Lewis was being held and got there, it was already too late. Kidnapped case turned into a homicide case. Leonard still remembers the look on John’s face when he told him that they couldn’t get to her in time. Of course, John blamed Leonard. They all told him it was the man’s grief and that he didn’t mean any of it, but Leonard knew that he meant every word of it. Deep down, he also blamed himself for not getting there in time. He could have prevented a woman’s death but had failed. He always blamed himself.

He has grown since those days, grown more mature and wise, and he has learned a lot since then. People die, and sometimes, there isn’t a goddamn thing you can do about it. You try to bring closure, and comfort, but even that isn’t enough to replace the void left by a person.

Closure. That’s what John had meant. Justice. He wants Leonard to—

“Have you thought about it?” John’s voice came in strong, pulling Leonard away from his thoughts.

“I think so.”

“Go on there,” John kneeled in front of him.

“You want me to solve your wife’s case.”

“Ah, there it is. I knew there was more to you.”

Leonard scoffed. “Sure you did.”

“Let’s see how good you really are.”

“I don’t need to prove anything to you.”

“Solve this one and you might see your husband again,” John cocked his head.

“You and I both know that I ain’t walking out of here. I’ve seen too much, there’s no way you’ll let me go. You’ll kill me whether I solve this or not.”

“No, no, no,” John shook his head. “You’ve got this the wrong way. I will kill someone, but I won’t kill you. No, that’s the easy way out. Too quick. No, I want you to suffer the same way I suffered. You see, Leonard, I’m not going to kill you, I’m going to kill your precious Jim. If you don’t get to work and solve this.”

That was a blow to Leonard’s gut. His eyes went wide, his heart pounding roughly in his chest, feeling beads of sweat run down the side of his face, mingling with the dry blood.

“I swear to God if you lay one filthy fucking finger on him—”

“You’ll do what? You’ll kill me?” John challenged, his eyes lifeless. “Ah, you think I’m bluffing,” he continued after studying Leonard for a moment. He clapped his hand and Leonard watched as the same young man who brought in the tools walk into the room, a laptop in his hand. “Look at what we’ve got here,” John turned the laptop to face Leonard.

Leonard had to squint at the brightness but knew he wasn’t mistaken in what he saw. It was Jim.

The video quality wasn’t the best, neither was the sound but there was no doubt it was Jim sitting in Pike’s office. Leonard could see his side profile and watched as Jim’s hand went up and rubbed his closed eyes slowly. So, he knew Leonard was in trouble. Of course he knew. A moment later, Leonard saw Nyota as her hand settled on Jim’s shoulder. Something relaxed inside Leonard, knowing that Jim wasn’t alone. He felt hot tears gather in his eyes but kept them from falling. All he wanted to do was reach through the screen and hold Jim close and keep him safe and out of this man’s reach. To keep the tears from falling, Leonard closed his eyes and the laptop was gone when he opened them again.

“He’s worried, you know,” John’s voice rose again.

“You keep him out of this. This is about me and you,” Leonard said through gritted teeth.

“Wrong. This is about you, only you. You do as I say and you get to live and you get to see your husband. You don’t, well, that’s your call.”

“What will you do exactly if I do solve this one?”

“That would ruin the surprise now, wouldn’t it?” John winked.

“You won’t get away with this.”

“This is very simple, Leonard. You tell me who murdered my wife and you’re free to go.”

“Doesn’t sound very simple.”

“Don’t get cute with me,” John warned.

“I couldn’t solve this all those years ago, how am I supposed to solve it now?”

“You’re better now, aren’t you? More experienced. You’re the best.”

“Lets say for…for the sake of a conversation that I manage to get my hands on something new. I need files and documents and evidence. I can’t be in this damn room.”

“Well, this damn room is all you’ve got.”

“It’s impossible,” Leonard resorted.

“You’re the detective, figure it out,” John shrugged. “You’ll get all the things you need to start working.”

\---

Jim crashed with Chris that night, both stumbling into the apartment passed four in the morning. Jim stirred all night, managing to get an hour, maybe two, of sleep. He kicked off the covers when he got frustrated and walked into the living room, surprised to see Chris awake himself, sitting on the dinning room table with half a dozen files spread open, their contents scattered over the glass.

“Can’t sleep?” Pike looked up from the papers.

Jim shook his head. “What are you doing?”

“Going through some of Len’s paperwork,” Chris sighed. “Nothing is popping up.”

“Can I help?” Jim asked, his voice small and fragile.

Chris nodded and gestured to the chair next to his.

Two hours later, they were both back at the precinct. Chris didn’t argue when Jim followed him out of the apartment.

\---

“Captain, we’ve got something!” Scotty yelled.

Seconds later, Chris and Jim were standing next to Scotty’s desk where a small package sat. It was addressed to Chris.

He took a quick look at Jim and grabbed a cutter, tearing through the masking tape and yanked the box open. The golden color danced on Jim’s face, his breath hitching when he realized what was inside the box.

Chris closed his hand around the item and took it out. Jim spoke before he got the chance to.

“I gave that to Bones,” Jim whispered.

All eyes turned on him.

“Last year, for our anniversary,” Jim’s vision clouded with tears. “He never took it off.”

Chris looked at the golden Saint Michael pendant in his grip and noticed the piece of paper folded up inside. He slid his hand into a glove and opened it, reading it out loud. “Remove one from ten, it being the first, the second is the initial. Take one from the first, then twice the initial, and finally, remove one from the second and you will have your answer. I have your detective, Captain. He is alive. For now.”

“What does that mean?” Jim asked, looking over Chris’s shoulder.

“It’s a riddle, he’s playing games.”

“Playing games? There’s no time to play games, Chris!”

“Scotty, I want this note analyzed and someone solve this damn riddle, it’s the only thing we’ve got. Keep this safe,” Chris handed Leonard’s pendant to the detective. “Jim, my office.”

Jim walked in and Pike followed, closing the door behind him. “This is good, Jim.”

“Good? How is this good?”

“We know he’s alive. We have that note, it’s more than what we had yesterday.”

“He said he’s alive for now, and we don’t know what that person wants. How are we any closer to getting Bones back?” Jim shook.

“It’s a process, Jim. We’re getting closer every minute.”

“Chris, am I going to see Bones again?” a tear ran down Jim’s cheek. He sounded like a child, scared and small, and it broke Chris.

“Yes, Jim, you’ll see Len again,” Chris threw his arms around Jim and drew him in.

\---

Leonard couldn’t tell the time. He didn’t know if it was day or night, getting knocked out for God knows how long does that to a person. He lifted his head when the door opened, revealing the same young man. He carried a box filed with paper files, which he placed in front of Leonard. He kneeled down and broke the binding around Leonard’s wrists.

Leonard rubbed his red skin and spoke. “What are the tools for?”

“I can’t answer that,” the young man said, and with that he left.

Leonard sighed and dragged the box closer to him. He began unpacking the folders and noticed a pad of paper and a couple of pens. He set those aside and opened the first folder: autopsy report. Of course, that’s the first thing he sees.

Having gone through most of the folders an hour later, the door thudded open and John walked in, carrying a tray of food.

“Listen, I don’t have as much as I had back then, and I don’t have the programs that would make this search much easier. I need resources, and I need to go out and talk to people, it’s been years.”

“I don’t need you to tell me how long it’s been,” John said lowly, placing the tray next to Leonard.

Leonard sighed. “I’m not a damn crime scene investigator, I don’t do the science stuff. Other people do the science stuff and they tell me where to look and who to find. I’m the end of the line.”

“Now is your chance to be one, and this is all you need. I’ll come back in two hours, if you haven’t gotten started by then, you will suffer the same way my wife had.”

Leonard remembered the autopsy report. Broken ribs, ruptured spleen, multiple bruises and lacerations over fifty percent of body surface, concussion. He swallowed, taking the pen and began taking notes with his shaking hand.

\---

Back at the precinct, Spock had taken on the mysterious riddle and was currently trying to understand the nature of the numbering. Everyone knew better than to distract him.

“They usually want money, right?” Jim asked, breaking the silence in Chris’s office.

“Hmm?”  
“Kidnappers. They usually hold people hostage for money.”

“Usually,” Pike nodded.

“They didn’t demand money. What do they want then? In the note, they just said that Bones is alive, for now. What does ‘for now’ mean?”

“It’s not always for money. Sometimes it’s personal, sometimes it’s between them. Sometimes the kidnapper doesn’t want money, doesn’t want anything to do with the police. Sometimes it’s about that one person.”

“And this one is about Bones?”

Pike nodded. “If they wanted money, they would have said so in the note. But it appears that whatever is keeping Leonard alive is in his hands. There was no demand, just a statement. Nothing to do from our side except look for him. The rest is up to him.”

“He would fight, he would fight to live.”

“He would fight to see you again,” Pike nodded. “If I’ve learned anything in my time here, it would be to follow your instincts. And my instinct is telling me that whatever is going on here, it’s deeper than we think. I don’t know what it is, but there’s history. Don’t ask how I know, it’s a gut feeling. But that doesn’t change the fact that we will bring Leonard home.”

Jim simply nodded, biting down on the inside of his cheek. He couldn’t dare to bring himself to think about anything else. If he did, he would crumble, and he’s barely hanging on by a thread.

\---

When John resurfaced, Leonard had taken down several pages of notes, the small things he found important and trying to draw connections between the different views that lie in front of him. It felt familiar, too familiar, taking him back to the days he had been trying so hard to forget about.

“What do you have?”

“Nothing I didn’t have before,” Leonard huffed.

“I’m warning you, McCoy,” John grabbed Leonard by his shoulders and slammed him against the hard wall behind him. “Don’t get comfortable with me.”

“I’m not,” Leonard sneered. “I’m just saying what I have.”

John replied with driving his knee into Leonard’s chest and let the detective fall to his knees. “My happy side is wearing thin.”

“You don’t say,” Leonard clutched his abdomen with his arm and was landed with a punch to the jaw. Feeling wetness coat the inside of his mouth, he spat a mouthful of bright red blood and panted heavily. “This won’t make me go any faster.”

“No, but it will show you what will happen if you don’t,” John flexed his hand, his knuckles already red from the punch.

Leonard shifted his body and grabbed the discarded pen, getting back to work without another word. He kept his head low until he heard the metal door shut. He felt a strand of blood trickle down his chin and a drop of blood land on one of the papers that had an interview with a witness written down. He sighed and wiped his chin with the back of his hand.

By the end of the second day, Leonard was still nowhere closer to the answers than he was all those years ago. John wouldn’t like it.

\---

It has been three days since Leonard was taken and Jim was all cried out. He went home for a couple of hours, unable to get any shuteye, he decided to go through their wedding pictures. His finger hit play on the slideshow, popping up pictures yet his eyes remained unseeing. He was numb, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to feel again.

Jim robotically finished his draft and planned to drop it off later in the day. He didn’t bother going through it, he wanted it out of the way. Chris commented, saying that Jim was a dead man walking, which is true, because that is exactly what Jim is without Leonard; hollow, sad, with no purpose. They tried eliciting any kind of reaction from Jim but got none, no matter what method they had used. If they don’t find Leonard, and quick, Jim will turn into dust and get blown away in no time. It terrified them.

After dropping off his draft, no questions asked, Jim made his way to the precinct. He walked into the usual commotion, straight into Chris’s office. He sat down on the couch without a word, not even acknowledging Nyota.

“How did it go?”

“Don’t know,” Jim shrugged tiredly and leaned back, closing his eyes. Those were Jim’s usual sentences, two, maybe three words.

“Sir, another package just came in,” Scotty peaked his head into the office.

With a sigh, and much effort, Jim pushed himself off the couch and followed Chris and Nyota. His entire body turned to jelly when another golden reflecting shined on his pale face. He knew exactly what was in that box.

“Bones’s badge,” Jim breathed.

Chris removed the golden plate and noticed another note under the badge. Taking a deep breath, he pulled it out and unfolded the paper. “Two days and then it’s over,” he read.

Jim blew out jagged air and held onto the desk chair for support. He closed his eyes, the huge burning pit in his stomach twisting. He pushed himself, bouncing backwards, his arms flying to his hair.

“What the fuck does that mean?” Jim wheezed. “Two days? Two days?!”

“Jim, calm down,” Chris tried.

“No! No, I am done calming down and pretending like everything is going to be fine. Bones—my _husband_ —has been missing for three days and no one is any damn closer to finding out where he is! We don’t even know if he’s alive,” Jim panted.

“He’s alive, this note proves that.”

“It proves nothing,” Jim shook his head. “Where is the actual proof? It’s just a note, he could have killed Bones the first day and he’s just messing with us. You know what? I’m—I’m done, I can’t stand around here anymore. I’m out,” Jim forced his way through the crowd of officers, walking out the same way he walked in.

“Jim—” Chris moved after him, but a hand on his shoulder stopped him.

“Let me,” Nyota offered and followed Jim. She found him sitting on the curb, his knees pulled into his chest.

“I thought I was all cried out. I thought there wasn’t enough water in my body for tears anymore,” Jim whispered.

Nyota sighed, sitting down next to her best friend. “There’s no such thing as all cried out. Crying is a way of expressing emotion, the only way to stop crying is to stop feeling.”

“I—” Jim started, “I don’t think I can do this.”

“Don’t give up, Jim.”

“What am I supposed to do then?” Jim scoffed. “It’s been three days, and no one can trace Bones’s phone, the note was a dead end, the car was no use either. Chris and Spock went through his cases over and over again and found nothing. There isn’t hope left, Nyota. We’ve got less than two days and counting, and if Bones isn’t dead, he will be. I can’t sit around as that happens,” Jim stood up, wiping his hands on his jeans.

Nyota followed. “Jim.”

Jim turned around, but said nothing.

Nyota looked at her watch.

“What?”

She raised her finger, still looking at her watch.

Jim raised an eyebrow, not understand what was going on.

“And it’s time.”

“Time for…”

“Playtime at the nursery,” Nyota linked her arm with Jim and started walking.

“What?”

“You need some baby love, Jim. And luckily for you, I have just the one in mind.”

\---

Jim and Nyota spent an hour with the little girl, enough time to really take Jim’s mind off all the crap that was happening. He even had smiled for the first time in what felt like a lifetime when Amanda jumped up and down with excitement the moment he walked into the playroom. Seeing Jim, usually accompanied by Leonard, meant that it was time for her to get spoiled and cover her face in Nutella. She calmed down when she saw her mother walk in after Jim.

Jim and Leonard had babysat the girl more times than they could count, and Jim being her godfather gave them the perfect excuse to get away with pretty much anything and everything. Showering her with gifts whenever they see her, and making all her favorite foods that her parents wouldn’t allow. Jim would shrug at Spock and Nyota, claiming that it was his job as the godfather to spoil her rotten. And it was Leonard’s job to scare away the boyfriends when they start coming around.

It was because of Amanda that Leonard first brought up the idea of having kids to Jim. The younger man was startled, not expecting that conversation to come up. He knew how much Leonard wanted to start a family, and wanted to have kids. The older man would be an incredible father, Jim knew that beyond any doubt, but it was himself that he was worried about.

 _I’m a kickass godfather, yes, but I don’t know if I’m fit to be an actual father, Bones_ , Jim had said.

 _You’d be an amazing father, Jim_ , Leonard replied.

 _I didn’t have a father growing up, I don’t know how it’s done. I was screwed halfway to Sunday up until I met you, that being most of my life. What if I screw the kid up, too?_ Jim sighed.

 _You won’t, Jim, because I will be there with you. You think I know how it’s done?_ Jim shrugged. _You don’t know how it’s done until you actually do it_ , Leonard reasoned.

 _Look, I just, I know how much you want this, and I want it, too, I do. I do imagine myself having a family with you, Bones, but I don’t know if I’m ready right now. I just need some time to think about it_ , Jim sighed.

 _Take all the time you need, darlin’_ , Leonard kissed his husband. And the subject wasn’t brought up again after that. That was nine months ago.

Jim had found his mind going back to that conversation while he played with Amanda, and realized how wrong he really was. Well, yes, he was terrified, but he wanted nothing more than to have a family with Leonard, and grow old with him. He held back the stinging tears and smiled down at the little girl sitting in his lap, feeling hope and determination build up again inside him. He’s going to start that family with Leonard, he’d be damned if anyone stopped him.

They were on their way back when Nyota’s phone started ringing. She fished for it in her pocket and pressed the green button.

“Hey,” she answered.

“Are you with Jim?” Spock asked.

“Yeah, we’re heading back now.”

“Where are you exactly?”

“Just a few blocks away. Spock, what’s going on?”

“We have something.”

“We’ll be right there,” Nyota hung up and turned to Jim.

“What?”

“They’ve got something.”

Breathing heavily, Jim and Nyota barged into the precinct five minutes later, eyes darting until they spotted Chris and Spock standing by Scotty. They approached the men, and noticed the pages of notes Spock was holding.

“What’s going on?” Jim asked.

“Spock figured it out, the riddle,” Chris answered.

With that, Spock flipped to the last page and pointed towards a scribbled section with a circle in red drawn around it.

“It’s a date,” Spock announced. “I have tried everything it could possibly stand for, and I believe that the only explanation would be a date. After reaching my findings, it is also quite logical.”

“What is even in the riddle?”

“They’re numbers,” Spock showed Jim. “It says, ‘Remove one from ten, it being the first, the second is the initial. Take one from the first, then twice the initial, and finally, remove one from the second’ and the trick was to figure out which numbers were in which places. So, you remove one from ten and you get nine, and by ‘it’ it does not mean nine, but ten. Ten is the first number. Nine is the second. Take one from the first means to literally take the number one. Then nine and nine, and then take one from nine and you get eight. And it looks like 1091998,” Spock explained. “I searched for coordinates, for file numbers, codes, everything I could think of that could possibly be that number but I came up empty. I kept looking at it and it started to look like a date and when you cut it up, it matches. October 9th, 1998.”

“I can’t even begin to wrap my head around how you got there but still, where does that leave us?” Jim sighed.

“It leaves us with a file, a case Leonard worked on. It was before we became partners, which is why it never found its way into our case search,” Spock handed the file to Chris. “Leonard was young when he worked on that case, and I believe the notes may be of help for us to know who took him and why.”

Chris opened the file and skimmed through the information. “It started out as a kidnapping case but turned into homicide when they couldn’t locate the victim, Sarah Lewis, in time. She was missing for five days before they found her body. The husband, John Lewis, accused Leonard of indirectly killing his wife.”

Jim closed his eyes and gulped, turning his hands into fists to keep them from shaking.

“The murderer was never found. He held Leonard accountable for his wife’s death.”

“Why now?” Jim breathed out.

“There’s no way of knowing that, Jim. But now we have a name, Spock, good work. I want to know everything there is to know about this John Lewis, ping his phone, his financials, any credit card activity, workplace, family, friends, everything. I want to know what he had for breakfast this morning,” Pike ordered.

Everyone shuffled to get to work, and Chris led Jim and Nyota into his office. Without having to ask for it, Chris handed the file to Jim who opened it and found a grainy old picture of Leonard clipped to the top.

He looked so young and thin, his face was clean shaven with his dark hair combed backwards. Jim wondered how different Leonard was during those days, if he was reckless and cocky, much like his own younger self. A small smile crept on his face at the thought, taking a mental note to ask Leonard about it when he sees him. He wondered if his husband wasn’t always the sturdy tough guy that he is. He looked at the picture some more and realized that it was still his Bones, younger, but still his husband.

“You said she was missing for five days, the wife,” Jim’s head snapped up.

“Yeah,” Chris nodded.

“That’s what he meant by two days,” Jim remembered the second note. “It’s already been three days, he’s going to kill Bones in two days,” color drained from his face.

“He won’t, because we’ll find him before then.”

Jim wanted to believe that so he stayed silent.

“What does he want from Bones?”

“I wish I knew, son. I wish I knew.”

\---

Pike grabbed a blanket he kept in the office and covered Jim’s sleeping form on the couch, not having the heart to wake up him up. A soft knock on the door grabbed his attention and he saw Scotty standing by the window. Pike nodded and took one last look at Jim and then joined Scotty outside.

“Sir, John Lewis dropped off the face of the earth two years ago.”

“What do you mean?” Chris frowned.

“All records, finances, work logs, credit cards, everything. It all stopped. He vanished two years ago. There’s no record of him since then.”

“Damn it,” Chris ran his hand through his hair. “What about his house, his car?”

“Nothing, sir. It’s like he never existed.”

Chris’s eyes wandered to his office as he thought about Jim. The knot in his stomach got tighter.

“Okay,” Chris took a deep breath and let it out. “We know he’s still here, he has to be supporting himself somehow. If he changed his name, he probably kept his first. He could still be working in real estate. I want you to look through agencies and see if you can track him down.”

“That’s like looking for a needle in a haystack, Captain.”

“I know,” Chris sighed. “But we can’t let him get away. Do your best.”

“Aye, Captain.”

\---

The night rolled into day, marking the beginning of the fourth day. Numerous bruises and kicks to the gut later, Leonard felt like he was finally onto something he didn’t have before.

“How are you doing?” John entered the confiding room.

“I think I’ve got something,” Leonard whispered.

“That’s what I like to hear!” John sounded far too cheerful for the situation. “Tell me.”

“We know that the house he was using wasn’t under his name, it was a false, an alias. We couldn’t find anything on the alias though, so we relied heavily on witness statements and we only had a partial profile. The car’s license plate was bogus, a fake so we tracked him to this place,” Leonard pointed to a map, “his last known location. We had uniforms sitting on it but he never went back there. We didn’t have anything to go on.”

“Don’t tell me things I already know!”

“I’m getting there,” Leonard cringed. “We assumed that it was random, that she was chosen at random because that’s how it looked. There were no obvious signs of any ties to you or her, but what if it wasn’t random? We were limited back then, the technology was had…it wouldn’t have helped if we could take the investigation further.”

“But now you have better technology.”

“Yes, but it’s a cold case. Witnesses would have forgotten, the trail has gone cold, and the evidence is scattered all over the place. Even if I could reopen the case, too much time has passed. I’m thinking this out with you but it’s all in theory.”

“Go on.”

“You reported disturbances, right?”

John nodded. “We’d hear someone going through our trash or moving the bins around. It was all small things.”

“Small things by themselves, but if you put everything together into the picture, it would suggest it’s all connected. What if he was scouting you out? Learning your routines, your schedules. He would have had to watch you for months. What if she was chosen? It’s not uncommon that they usually have a type…that’s why he took his time.”

“Type?”

“It’s a fetish, some of them like females with a certain hair color, eye color, body build. It would be a pattern with them. That’s another thing that could have helped, seeing if there were are similarities between your wife and other females who were taken or murdered.”

“There’s something I didn’t tell the police.”

“What?”

“I was supposed to be out of town for some real estate business when it happened. I was supposed to have been gone for a week, but it was cancelled last minute. The next day, she was gone.”

Leonard nodded. “He knew you were going to be gone, but you didn’t go and you disturbed his plan.”

“You mean he wasn’t going to kill her if…” John trailed off.

“Killing her wasn’t a spur of the moment thing, it was in his plan.”

“How do you know?”

“He didn’t panic, he still took his time. He only needed to get his hands on her. Hold on, how did he know you were going to be gone? He must have gone into your house. I remember a calendar was hanging on the wall, right?”

John nodded. “It was in the kitchen.”

Something clicked with Leonard. He leaned forward, reaching out for some papers and winced, his arm going around his stomach in pain. He grabbed the sheets and ran his eyes over them quickly. “There, the witness accounts. They all thought they saw the same person, but he looked different each time. He changed his appearance, took on false professions. Tell me, uh, did you have any kind of maintenance work done inside your house around the time?”

John narrowed his eyes, thinking back all those years. “We had some work done…in the kitchen.”

“That’s how he got in, both times. He must have come back when you were gone and that was the last string in his play, that’s how he took her.”

“Why didn’t you know all this back then?”

“You said it yourself, I was young and cocky and I didn’t know crap. I know all of this, or my mind works that way now because of what I’ve seen and what I’ve solved.”

“How does it feel knowing that you could saved her but you didn’t? If only you had known better.”

“If only I were damn older. You’re not the only one who blames me, I blame myself, too.”

“How would you feel if your husband was taken and they give the case to a fucking amateur who’s in over his head! Was it a test, the case? Did they put you on it to see where you stand? If you’re worthy of being a detective? Worthy of people’s trust? Maybe you’ll get to find out after all.”

“What?” Leonard’s eyes went wide. “No, no! I did what you asked! I came as close as I can to solving it!”

“But you didn’t, did you?”

“Because it’s damn impossible! I can’t go back in time! I would if I could, but I fucking can’t! You stay the hell away from Jim!” Leonard remained unblinking, the tears stinging in his hazel eyes.

“You were right, I can’t let you go. We’ve had a lovely time, I guess you won’t find out how this story ends after all.”

“They probably have figured it out by now. They’re coming for you, nothing will stop them from hauling your sorry ass off to rot in prison.”

John sneered. “It’s a game changer.”

Leonard could barely register the quick movement in front of him, helpless to avoid the blow, the hard butt of a gun collided with the side of his face, sending him toppling sideways. His vision blurred, dark edges slowly spreading around him. His last thought before the darkness engulfed him…

 _Jim_.

\---

“Boss!” Scotty yelled, spotting Chris walking out of the locker room.

“What is it?”

“Another box was brought in a few minutes ago.”

Jim emerged from the office and joined the men as Chris opened the third cardboard box. He grabbed the item and turned to Jim. “This look familiar?”

Jim’s breath hitched when he saw Leonard’s watch in Chris’s grip. He nodded and whispered, “birthday gift.”

Chris drew his eyebrows together, taking out another note. “Time’s ticking.”

“We have less than a day.”

Chris noticed an extra something in the box, something the kidnapper surely didn’t put there himself. “There’s some soil in the box, take it to crime lab for analysis. This could help narrow down the area this box was in, which could lead us to Leonard.”

Spock nodded, taking the box.

“How’s that search going, Scotty?”

“Still nothing, sir, working on it.”

Chris nodded. “Keep at it.” He looked turned around and saw Jim holding the familiar watch, running his thumb over the glass. “You’ll give it to him, Jim,” he clasped the younger man’s shoulder.

Jim nodded.

“We’re going to find him, Jim. We’re almost there.”

Spock returned, and walked over to the two men. “The crime lab will notify us with their findings.”

“Any idea how long that will take?”

“A few hours.”

Jim sighed and scratched the messy scruff on his face.

“You should go home, Jim, get some rest.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

As the agonizing hours passed by, Jim was getting more and more restless, unable to stay in one position for long. He’d stand up and roam the small area around him, checking his watch every thirty seconds. And then Scotty’s voice rang.

“Captain!”

“What do you have?”

“A possible match, sir.”

Chris quickly walked over to Scotty, Jim hot on his heels.

“I found a John Nero, working out of Nero Housing. It seems to be a private business, and there’s an address.”

“Any connection to Lewis?”

“The business first appeared around the same time he disappeared. It isn’t much—”

“It’s enough. Text me the address and send everyone out.”

“I’m coming along.”

“No, Jim, you’re either staying here or you’re going home.”

“If this is it, if you’re about to go find Bones, I have to be there, Chris, please. I need to be there. It will be much easier if I’m there.”

Chris swallowed, studying Jim for a few moments before nodding his head. “Fine. But you wear the vest and you do as I say, understood?”

“Yes, sir,” Jim nodded.

“Come on, let’s move out.”

\---

The squad cars rode out full force, Jim riding in the car with Chris. They arrived at the address within minutes, the sirens clearing the streets for them. The officers hopped out of the cars and drew their guns, Pike made sure that Jim stayed by the cars. Remembering what the older man had told him earlier, Jim didn’t argue and sat tight.

“APD!” Chris announced, seconds before breaking down the door with his foot. The man was old but he still got it.

The officers quickly scattered inside the house, quick on their feet and flashlights in hand. They searched the rooms, but came up empty.

An echo of many “clear”s rang through the house, all rejoining outside.

Jim’s heart fell when he saw the men walk out, holstering their guns and switching off their flashlights. He assumed the worst. He assumed they were too late.

“What?”

“No one’s here,” Chris somehow read what was going on inside Jim’s head. “Seems like no one’s been living here for a while.”

 _At least they didn’t find Bones’s body_ , Jim thought bitterly.

“Captain, you might want to take a look at this,” an officer yelled for Pike at the front door.

Chris nodded and went into the house, not minding when Jim followed.

The wall above a desk in the living room was plastered with overlapping photographs and post-it notes, time labels and locations. The majority of the pictures were of Leonard, and Jim was in some of them, too.

“He was following Bones,” Jim whispered.

“And he was following you,” Pike pointed to a string of pictures of solo Jim.

Jim gulped, moving closer to the wall to read the timings and the locations. “He must have been following us for months, Chris. We didn’t have any idea.”

“He knows how to hide. Like a prey stalking its victim, waiting for the right moment to attack.”

“Jesus,” Jim’s hand landed on a picture of him and Leonard walking together, hands linked. Leonard’s head was thrown back as he laughed, Jim wearing a smile. He must have said a joke.

The ringing of Pike’s phone startled him, drawing his hand back and letting it fall next to his body.

“Sulu, no one’s here,” Chris sighed.

“The soil analysis just came back, Captain. It’s mostly found in the suburbs, areas that are closed off.”

“Did you say suburbs?”

“Yes, sir.”

Pike spotted a framed picture hanging on the wall near the door. Growing up in this city, Chris took pride in knowing it like the back of his hand. And this picture, this area…

“Sulu, check for other known residences under John Nero.”

“Checking,” Sulu typed on the computer. “Nothing, sir, no other known residences.”

“Check under Sarah Lewis.”

A few seconds later, Sulu’s voice returned. “Yes, sir, an address in the suburbs.”

“That’s where they are, that’s where he’s holding Leonard. Text me the address,” Pike hung up, retreating and calling all the other officers.

In a matter of seconds, the sirens were roaring loudly and Jim couldn’t breathe.

\---

Leonard started drifting towards consciousness, his ears ringing and his head drowsy. Like someone had drugged him. No. Someone drove a fucking gun into his head. Well, at least his memory is still intact. He opened his eyes with a groan and tried to adjust himself, only to realize that his hands were once again bound in front of him. That’s not all of what was in front of him.

John, now sitting on a stool not one foot away from Leonard, was holding the gun, pointing it at the detective.

Leonard let his head fall back on the wall, his eyes not leaving John, his tongue darting out to lick his dry, chapped lips. He let out a huff of air and winced at the sudden spike of pain flaring in his head.

“So, this was your plan all along,” Leonard eyed John.

“Pretty much.”

“Five days. Nice touch,” Leonard rolled his eyes.

“Ah, you caught up on that,” John nodded.

“You’re a sadistic fuck, you know that?” Leonard sneered.

“Doesn’t matter,” John shrugged.

“You were always going to kill me, you never were going to spare me.”

“Not you,” John shook his head. “And now, your lovely husband will get to know what it feels like to have the person you love most get snatched from you while there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it,” he pushed the nose of the gun into Leonard’s forehead.

Just as John cocked the gun, the sound of the screaming sirens echoed in the tiny room. And for the first time since Leonard met John, he saw sheer panic spread on the man’s face, the smug color draining into his knees.

“I told you they’d figure it out,” Leonard raised an eyebrow.

“Shut up!” John threatened to hit Leonard with the gun again.

The detective didn’t flinch. “What are you going to do now?”

Outside, Chris was already banging on the door, with a bunch of men behind him. Jim was standing by the car, an officer next to him, his arms crossed tightly over his chest, muffling his irregular breathing. One of the officers kicked down the door and the men disappeared into the dark house.

They did their primary search, finding nothing and no one, but obvious signs of a living.

“Someone’s definitely been living here,” Chris walked around, spotting a dead cigarette in an ashtray. “It’s still warm.”

“No one’s here, sir,” Scotty joined Pike.

“They’ve got to be here.”

Under their feet, Leonard’s mouth was covered with John’s hand, and the gun was once again pressed into the side of his head. His eyes roamed over the chipped ceiling, praying to whichever God were listening to get him out of this alive. Leonard could hear the footsteps on the floor above him, as they got more and more distant. He closed his eyes, hearing his heart beating quickly in his ears. His chest felt like it was about to explode.

Just as Chris was about to walk out of the house, his eyes caught a strange outline in one of the walls. It was thin, very thin, but definitely there. He motioned for Spock to join him as they worked together and opened the hidden door. Chris switched on his flashlight and revealed a long, dusty staircase, leading to the basement.

“Spock, Scotty, follow me,” Chris said in a hushed tone and began walking down the stairs slowly.

Once all three men reached the end of the staircase, they spread out, noticing the room at the far end. The metal door was slightly ajar.

Chris advanced, his gun pulled out and his clicked the back of the flashlight, turning it off. He could see movement through the small gap left by the opened door, not sure who it was. He motioned for Spock to join him, as they both stood on each side of the door.

 _On three_ , Chris mouthed.

Spock nodded.

 _One, two, three_.

Suddenly, Chris kicked the door wide open with his leg, his gun aimed at the armed man in front of him. “Drop it before I drop you,” he threatened. His eyes roamed over to Leonard, who seemed to be fighting for air on his knees. “Len, you okay? Len. Talk to me.”

“Don’t answer that,” John pushed the gun harder into Leonard’s temple.

“I’m fine,” Leonard croaked, unable to lift his head to meet Chris’s eyes.

“We got eyes on Detective McCoy,” Scotty announced into the radio.

Jim was getting fidgety outside the house, he almost didn’t hear the words of Scotty come through the radio. He didn’t think, didn’t breathe, the only thing he did was rush into the house and down the stairs, following Chris’s voice, not paying attention to the countless officers yelling his name. Repeating _BonesBonesBones_ over and over in his head.

Hearing footsteps on the stairs behind him, Scotty turned around and saw a wide-eyed Jim striding towards him.

“Jim? You’re not supposed to be down here,” Scotty blocked Jim’s path.

“Where is he?” Jim breathed in a low voice.

“Jim, no. You should not be down here,” Scotty repeated.

“I’m not going to ask you again, where is he?” Tears burned in the back of Jim’s head. He looked over the detective’s shoulder, a disbelieved gasp escaping his lips.

Leonard was still on his knees, breathing harshly and the gun pressed firmly to his head. Jim cringed, knowing it would leave a bruise.

“Bones,” Jim huffed out, pushing past Scotty. “Bones!”

Chris’s head whipped backwards on the sound of Jim’s voice, his gun still aimed at John. “What the hell! Get out of here! Go!” He yelled, turning back to face the criminal.

Jim shook his head. “What have you done to him, you son of a bitch!”

“Ah,” an icy, predatory grin spread on John’s face. “The infamous Jim Kirk. Leonard and I have been talking about you a lot, quite the topic of conversation, you are.”

Jim grinned his teeth together, his eyes boring into the man. He panted, not allowing the tears to roll down his scruff face.

“I owe you a little thanks, by the way,” John continued. “If it weren’t for you, well, this would have been a lot harder.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Jim spat.

“I read a lot, and one day, guess what falls into my hands? And it’s just what I like.”

“What?” Jim froze, as if he were dumped into a tub of freezing water. “What did you say?”

“Jim,” Chris warned.

“Leonard may have gotten a little better, but he hasn’t changed. People like him never change,” John’s finger moved to the trigger.

“Don’t do this, don’t cross that line,” Chris tried to reason. “Killing Leonard will do you no good. It won’t bring Sarah back.”

“How dare you speak her name?” John expelled. “You don’t get to do that! You don’t have the right!”

Leonard took advantage of John’s sudden loss of control and ever slowly lifted his head, just enough for his eyes to meet Jim’s wide blue ones.

Leonard seemed calm, or was trying to calm himself down because _Jim is here, Jim is right there_ and he isn’t hallucinating, he isn’t imagining, Jim really is a few feet away from him.

And that hurt like a dagger through his heart.

He was probably going to die, and his husband would have a front row seat to the show.

Leonard quickly gathered himself and tried to speak to Jim, through their silent connection. Just like that, the entire world seemed to burn into ash and ripple away, and they felt like they were the only two people left in the world. The voices around them muffled, and neither cared. All they cared about was each other, was this moment, their moment, possibly the last moment they’d have together.

 _It’s okay, Jim. You’re going to be okay. I love you. I’m so sorry for all of this, it’s going to be all right. You’re going to live on. Remember me, Jim. Remember the good times. Damn it, I love you so much, kid_ , Leonard radiated with his hazel eyes.

He finally let go, letting the tears that build up fall. He allowed himself to feel, to feel the loss before it happened. Taking one last look at Jim’s face, he closed his eyes, accepting the infinite darkness about to take him away.

One shot rang in the room, and then another.

Silence.

Then Leonard felt warm hands holding his face. He wasn’t dead.

He moved his head up and dared to open his eyes. His vision was blurry, but he could never mistake the face right in front of his. He would know that face anywhere.

He could see Jim’s lips moving but couldn’t hear the words. He watched as Jim’s eyes roamed over his face, feeling his hand caress and sooth the harsh skin under his touch.

“Bones? Bones, can you hear me? Come on, give me anything, baby. Bones,” Jim’s voice began filtering through.

“Jim?”

A small chuckle fell out of Jim’s lips, his face visibly relaxing. “Yeah, Bones, it’s me. I’m here, I’m right here,” he touched his forehead to his husband’s.

“I’m not dead?”

“No, you’re not, you’re alive, and you’re going to be fine, I promise,” Jim pulled back to look into Leonard’s eyes.

Too tired to hold his head up, Leonard let his face fall into the crook of Jim’s neck and let his eyes close.

One of Jim’s hands went around to cradle the back of Leonard’s head, holding him in place and simultaneously running his fingers through the man’s damp hair. He held Leonard as his body began to shake with the force of strong sobs.

“It’s okay, Bones, it’s going to be okay. I’m here, I love you, I’m right here,” Jim soothed.

After the retching episode seemed to slow and come to an eventual stop, Jim felt a hand land on his shoulder.

“We have to take him to the hospital,” Chris spoke gently.

Jim nodded. “Bones, we have to go now, okay? Can you look up for me?”

Bones pulled back weakly, his body too tired to cooperate further.

Jim took Leonard’s face into his hands once again and carefully wiped away the staining tears with his thumb. “We need to get you to the hospital to get you checked out.”

Leonard gave him a small nod.

Jim took the cutters from Chris and broke the zip tie handcuffs around Leonard’s wrists, the bile rising in his throat when he saw the raw torn skin underneath. He swallowed, looking back at Leonard.

“Can you stand up for me?”

“No,” Leonard whispered.

“I got you,” Jim’s arm went around Leonard’s waist and steadily got to his feet, bring the detective up with him.

Leonard leaned on Jim, his arm around the younger man’s shoulder and his hand loosely gripping it.

Jim began to walk towards the door but Leonard abruptly stopped him.

“Wait, Jim, wait.”

Confused, Jim turned to face Leonard and watched as the man turned around.

Leonard’s eyes landed on the man lying on the floor with two identical gapping holes in his chest. The crimson blood already pooled under his body, and the gun still in his hand. He ran his eyes over the man’s figure, his breathing getting heavier and sharper. A series of images ran against his eyes, going back in time and then immediately rushing forward. He shivered, goosebumps blistering his skin. He remembered how broken this man was, and how he nearly broke him too. But Jim had shown him how to fight, gave him something to hold onto to. His eyes drifted to the tools that were brought in the first day, which remained untouched. He took one final look at the room around him and nodded to Jim.

“Ready?”

“Yeah.”

With Spock’s help, they got Leonard upstairs and out of the house. The paramedics had already arrived and helped Leonard into the ambulance and onto the gurney. Jim hopped in the back with his husband, lacing their hands together. One of the paramedics slipped on the oxygen mask over Leonard’s face and proceeded to take his blood pressure, Jim watching as the mask fogged with Leonard’s jagged breathing, reminding himself that he is alive.

Leonard opened his sluggish eyes and looked around, eyes focusing on Jim when they found him.

“It’s okay, Bones, close your eyes. I’m right here, I’m not going anyway,” Jim reassured him.

Leonard replied by rolling his eyes backwards and drooping his eyelids shut.

The ambulance started to move.

\---

It seemed like it took an eternity until they rolled into the ambulance bay of Atlanta Medical Center, a team of nurses and the surgeon on call already waiting for them by the entrance. Jim stayed back for a second, giving the paramedics a chance to unload Leonard and then jumped out, keeping as close as he could to the moving gurney.

He heard the paramedics report Leonard’s heart rate, respiration, blood pressure, _blood loss, internal bleeding, bruises on face and chest, possible concussion and broken ribs, bruised internal organs, dehydration…_

Jim kept his eyes glued to Leonard’s face, his eyes still closed and his breathing shallower than it was before. He stopped walking and watched as they pushed his husband towards the elevators.

“Doc!”

The surgeon stopped and turned to face Jim.

“Is he going to be okay?”

“What’s your relationship to Detective McCoy?”

“He’s my husband,” Jim tried to keep his voice from shaking.

“Okay,” the doctor sighed, pulling Jim to the side. “My name is Doctor M’Benga. I’m taking McCoy’s case. I understand he’s been missing for five days, correct?”

Jim nodded.

“Okay, it doesn’t look good, I’m not going to lie to you. There’s a lot of damage, and I will do everything in my power. He’s held on this long, and he’s healthy otherwise. It’s going to be a long night, so I would suggest you get comfortable and I’ll come find you the minute he’s out of surgery.”

“Okay,” Jim swallowed.

M’Benga called out for a nurse to stay with Jim until the rest of the officers arrived and jogged over to the elevators.

A couple of minutes later, Chris, Spock and Scotty strode into in Emergency Room, eyes searching for the young man. They found him before he spotted them and they slowly walked over to Jim.

Jim raised his head and saw them approach, quickly getting to his feet, making him lightheaded and dizzy. Chris caught his arm, steadying him in place.

“Sit down, Jim. Jesus, when was the last time you ate something?”

Jim shrugged.

“I’ll go find something,” Scotty offered and walked away, following the signs leading to the cafeteria.

“How’s Leonard?” Spock asked, his voice as calm as ever.

“Surgery, they just took him up. Doc said it was bad.”

Chris sighed, his arm going around Jim’s back and held onto his shoulder. “He’ll pull through, I know it.”

“Fuck, Chris,” Jim bellowed. “They said that so many things were wrong, I’m no doctor, but there’s just so much one body can handle.”

“He’s made it this far, Jim, they’re fixing him up as we speak. It might take a while, but Leonard isn’t going anywhere. I’ll kill him myself if he does anything stupid.”

A small smile cracked on Jim’s face. “I’m praying with everything in me that you’re right.”

“Here,” Chris dug into his pocket and revealed a small box, pushing it towards Jim.

“What is this?”

“Open it.”

Jim looked from the box to Chris and took the box, opening it with weak fingers. He sucked in a breath when he saw what was inside. Leonard’s watch and his Saint Michael pendant.

“Don’t you need these? For the case?”

Chris shook his head. “Case is closed.”

Jim nodded, taking the pendant between his fingers and running his thumb over the familiar indentation.

“You’ll give these back to Len, Jim. It’s going to be all right, son.”

Jim closed his hand around the pendant and took in a deep breath, silently repeating _Bones is alive, Bones is alive…_

A nurse walked up to them twenty minutes later and led them up to the surgical floor, where they could wait in the family room until Leonard was out of surgery. Jim sat down on the couch and looked around the room. A stack of magazines sat on the coffee table, and a black television hung from the ceiling but the remote control was nowhere to be found. There wasn’t anything in this room that could take his mind off the fact that his husband was being…Jim shook his head and leaned back, still clutching the pendant tightly.

Time didn’t seem to be moving. Every time Jim checked his water, barely a minute would have passed. He sighed, rubbing his bloodshot eyes and running his hand through his messy hair.

Nyota joined the men an hour later, noticing Jim’s half eaten sandwich forgotten on the table. She settled down next to Jim, and took his hand, a silent assurance.

“Anything?” She looked at Spock, who shook his head.

Soon after her arrival, Nyota and Jim were left alone. The others had to head back to the precinct, paperwork and what not.

“Jim?”

“Hm?”

“You’re kind of scaring me.”

“Why?”

“You’re quiet, you’re too quiet.”

“What’s there to be said, Ny?” Jim sighed.

“Anything.”

“I’m gonna tell Bones that we should have kids,” Jim said, starring into the space in front of him. It almost seemed like he was talking to himself, not to Nyota.

“Haven’t you guys talked about that?”

Jim nodded. “We did, a while ago. I was the idiot, I was the one who told him I needed to think about it. And he never pushed me, never brought it up again. How stupid was I? I could see how much he wanted a kid and I took that away from him because I was scared. What the fuck, who does that? I could be a crappy father but the kid will turn out good because Bones would be an amazing father. Hell, he even put me in line, a kid compared to that is nothing. It’s nothing Bones hasn’t been through before. I can’t believe it took almost losing him for me to man up and stop being the child and realize that…Fuck, I want to have a kid with Bones.”

“For the record, I don’t think you’d be a crappy father. I think you’d be a pretty damn good father, Jim.”

“You’re starting to sound like Bones.”

“Yeah, well, Len kind of grows on you,” Nyota bumped Jim’s shoulder with her own.

“Yeah, you’re telling me,” Jim rolled his eyes.

“I’ve seen you with my daughter, Jim, and I know you’ll say that being a father isn’t the same as being a godfather and I’ll tell you that it isn’t all that much different, either. You love the kid, you care for the kid, you teach the kid, and it’s how it all works. It’s just different titles.”

“I need him to come out of this alive to tell him all that. I’ll never forgive myself if I don’t.”

“You will.”

\---

Jim startled awake a few hours later, his head resting on Nyota’s shoulder, who was sifting through a magazine he had seen earlier. He quickly sat up straight, his eyes blown with hysteria and confusion.

“Whoa, whoa, Jim, calm down,” Nyota tuned to face him.

“Shit, how long was I out?”

“A while, you needed it.”

“Why didn’t you wake me?”

“Because there was no reason to.”

“You didn’t hear anything?”

Nyota shook her head.

Jim sighed, slacking backwards. “I didn’t even feel myself drift off.”

“Like I said, you needed it.”

“It’s been so long, they should have updated us by now,” worry crept under Jim’s skin.

“They’re working, and since no one has come to us, it means that everything is going fine.”

“Or everything went to hell and they can’t afford to send anyone out to tell us.”

“Hey, no, don’t read too much into it. The doctor said he’ll come find you when he’s done, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay then, we haven’t seen him because he isn’t done yet, which means that Leonard is okay.”

 _Alive_ , Jim thought.

Jim grabbed the bottle of water in front of him and took a gulp, enjoying the cold liquid running down his scorched throat. He was sure he looked like hell, and he was even surer that Leonard will kill him for looking it.

\---

Jim managed to get himself comfortable on the couch, his eyes automatically moving to the closed doors where his husband was rolled through hours ago. And the doors were being pushed open.

Jim blinked, thinking his mind was playing tricks on him but sprung to his feet when he saw M’Benga walk out. The doctor’s face was grim and he looked ten years older than he did before. Jim swallowed, watching him stop by a nurse’s station and take out a folder. Leonard’s folder. He scribbled some words and flipped the folder shut, slumping over the desk, and ran his hand through his hair with a sigh.

Just from watching M’Benga’s body language, Jim felt a lump grow his throat, cutting off his air. That wasn’t how a doctor looked after a successful surgery. Jim was no doctor, but he knew that much. He tried pushing down the imaginary lump, but only succeeded in making himself more anxious. He prepared himself for the _We did everything we could but his injuries were too extensive, and we lost him_ speech as the doctor walked towards the family room, their eyes already connecting. Jim felt like he was going to throw up.

Everyone got to their feet when M’Benga walked into the room, but said nothing. The silence stretched and Jim felt like he was being torn apart, tortured, wanting to disappear.

“He did good,” M’Benga nodded. “We almost lost him twice, but he pulled through.”

Jim almost didn’t hear the words over the sound of his ragging heart.

“He’s okay?” Jim whispered.

“He’s okay,” M’Benga repeated.

“He’s alive? Bones is alive?” Tears gathered in Jim’s eyes.

“He’s alive,” Nyota reached out for Jim just as the man fell backwards on the couch.

Jim’s breathing was heavy and hard, his face buried in his hands as the silent blazing tears of relief rolled down his cheeks. Everything is all right, as it seems. He felt that brick house that sat on his chest turn to dust, withering away and he could finally breathe. He wasn’t going to lose Leonard today.

“There was extensive damage when we got in, massive internal bleeding due to a piece of Leonard’s rib breaking off and puncturing his spleen. In order to stop the bleeding, we had to remove the spleen. It’s perfectly okay, many people live healthy lives without their spleens and there are no medical complications,” M’Benga began explaining. “He also suffered a concussion but thankfully there was no permanent damage, he will be a little disoriented when he wakes up and he might not remember everything right away. There was some bruising to the liver, which will reside on its own, as will the ones on his face. He’s dehydrated so we’re giving him IV fluids to help with that, and his wrists are covered with bandages to help the skin heal and to prevent infections. And finally, for his ribs, he suffered two broken and three fractured, but those will also heal on their own. He’ll be in some pain and discomfort but we’ll manage those with meds. We’d of course like to keep him here for at least a week to see how the recovery process is going and then we’ll take it from there.”

Again, everyone was quiet, trying to grasp everything the doctor had just told them. But the bottom line is that Leonard is alive and that’s all that matters.

“Take all the time you need to process all of this, and don’t hesitate to ask any questions,” M’Benga added.

“Thank you so much, doc,” Chris extended his hand.

“Leonard did all the hard work,” M’Benga nodded, shaking his hand.

“When can we see him?” Jim sniffed.

“He’s being set up in recovery as we speak, I’ll come find you when everything is settled. It’s not the I.C.U. but I would recommend he get one person per visit.”

“Can I stay with him? I’ll sleep in the waiting room, if I have to,” Jim straightened his back.

“From the way it looks, even if I remotely try to convince you to go home and get some sleep, saying that he probably won’t be awake until morning, I’ll fail.”

“You’ll fail,” Chris nodded.

“I’ll pull some strings, get a cot set up in his room for you. Besides, I don’t want you sleeping in the waiting room, those chairs will kill your back,” M’Benga smiled.

\---

Thirty minutes later, after everyone spent a few minutes with Leonard, Jim found himself sitting by his husband’s bedside. No matter how many times he had seen Leonard hurt or in a hospital bed, it never felt like this. One thing being different is that Leonard was usually propped up, awake and being his grumpy old usual self, but now, now he was still as ever. And Jim couldn’t swallow down his terror.

Leonard was a big, wide man but somehow looked so small and fragile in the hospital bed. His face had regained some of the color it had lost and a nasal cannula was supplying him with oxygen. M’Benga had prepared Jim, of course, to the best of his ability as they made the short walk to Leonard’s room, but nothing could have prepared Jim for the reality. M’Benga assured him that it looked worse that it actually is and that _Leonard is doing fine_ , and then left the two men, giving them some much needed privacy.

Jim stood still in his place, his eyes watching Leonard’s chest rise and fall with every breath he took, no matter how short. He wanted to scream at the steady heart monitor beeping in the background to _shut the hell up_ but found it quite comforting, giving him constant confirmation that his husband was alive.

Jim sat down on the chair next to Leonard’s bed, and gently wrapped his hand around his husband’s now-warm one, careful of the connected IV port. Jim ran his thumb over Leonard’s knuckles, his eyes not leaving the man’s face.

“You scared the living shit out of me, Bones,” Jim leaned down, brushing his lips again Leonard’s hand.

He held his breath, a grunt or a curse never replying back.

\---

Jim had fallen asleep, he thought he was dreaming. He didn’t know what it meant, didn’t know if it was even real, but when the grip on Jim’s hand didn’t let go, his head flew up and his broad blue eyes met half-open hazel ones.

“Bones,” Jim breathed.

“Jim,” Leonard rasped, his voice thick and low.

“Hi, oh my God, hi,” Jim got to his feet, leaning over Leonard’s body.

“Hey,” a small smile spread on Leonard’s face.

“How are you feeling?” Jim moved his hand, running it through Leonard’s hair.

“I can’t feel anything,” Leonard grumbled.

Jim chuckled. “They have some drugs attached to you, enjoy them while they last.”

“Smartass,” Leonard huffed.

Jim smiled.

“You look like shit, kid,” Leonard scanned Jim’s body with his tired eyes.

Jim snorted. “You’re the one who nearly died, I’m the last thing you should be worrying about,” it came out more emotional than he had intended.

“You’re the only thing I care about,” Leonard admitted.

“Fuck, Bones, you—I sat there, and I didn’t know if you were—I thought I lost you, I thought I’d never see you again,” Jim’s voice broke, tears running free, his emotions taking over.

“I’m right here. It would take more than a bad guy to take me away from you,” Leonard weakly tightened his grip on their still-connected hands.

“There was a chance you wouldn’t be and that broke me. It was all—fuck, if it wasn’t—” Jim bit on his bottom lip.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Leonard said. He always had a way with Jim, always knew what the younger man was thinking, and Jim wouldn’t have to speak it. There were a lot of things that Jim didn’t utter, but Leonard knew.

“It was,” Jim nodded. “It was my book.”

“No,” Leonard shook his head. “He would have found me, he was hell-bent on it. It wasn’t your book.”

“Bones, I’m so sorry,” Jim sobbed.

“Not your fault, Jim, not your fault. Come here, dalin’,” Bones pulled Jim down, untangling their hands to hold the back of Jim’s head, guiding it into his shoulder.

Leonard felt Jim cup the side of his face, tucking his face into the older man’s neck as the rest of the forceful sobs shook them both. Leonard could feel the tears seeping into his hospital gown but he didn’t care, he held Jim as tightly as he could and whispered comforting words into his ear.

“I love you, Jim, I love you so much,” Leonard’s finger played in the blond hair under his touch.

Jim pulled back, wiping his face and rubbing his red eyes. “I’m a mess.”

“We both are,” Leonard reminded him. “That’s why we work together so well.”

“I really am sorry, Bones.”

“You brought me home, Jim. I held on because of you, because I knew I had to make it back. You got nothing to be sorry for. You saved me in a way no one else could.”

Somehow, even more tears built in Jim’s eyes at Leonard’s words. They may have been small, but they meant so much. Jim felt his heart start to heal. He dropped a tender kiss to Leonard’s forehead, letting his lips linger there for a few extra moments.

“I love you, kid.”

“I love you, too, old man. Get some rest, Bones, I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Jim was there when Leonard opened his eyes again. He was there every moment of every day.

\---

Four days into Leonard’s stay at the hospital and everything was going as well as to be expected. He was groggy and in a haze most of the time courtesy of the pain medication. However, they started slowly weaning him off the meds, bringing back the grumpy McCoy. He wasn’t exactly a ray of sunshine, and probably won’t be for a long time.

Jim walked into Leonard’s room to see him sitting up, his eyes trailing the bland ceiling above and his fingers playing with his wedding ring. Something was up, Jim knew.

“Did you have breakfast?” Jim strode towards the bed.

“If you can call that damn nonsense they serve on a tray ‘breakfast’, then yeah,” Leonard grumbled.

“Good,” Jim bent down, kissing Leonard’s forehead but retreated when Leonard flinched. Jim frowned, his worry growing in the pit of his stomach. “What’s up?”

Leonard didn’t respond, didn’t even meet Jim’s eyes.

“Bones,” Jim breathed, “what’s wrong? Come on, talk to me, please.”

“It’s nothing,” Bones shook his head lightly.

“Bones.”

Leonard bit down on the inside of his cheek, wanting to sleep forever, but he couldn’t. He needed to talk to Jim, he owed him that much.

“Why do you love me—how could you love me?” Leonard finally rasped out.

“What?”

“I killed that woman, Jim. How can you stand looking at me?”

“What are you talking about, Bones? You didn’t kill anyone.”

“I may have not pulled the trigger, but if I had gotten there sooner, if I had figured it out sooner, she would have been alive right now,” Leonard’s voice cut.

“No, Bones, there’s nothing more you could have done. You did everything you could.”

“You didn’t know me back then, Jim, and John wasn’t entirely wrong about what he said. It was all my fault. There’s nothing to say that I wouldn’t have done the same thing if it had been you, not her.”

“No, you wouldn’t have done the same thing,” Jim said, with a stern voice. “You know why?”

Leonard closed his eyes.

“No, Bones, look at me. Open your eyes and look at me,” Jim cupped the side of Leonard’s face, turning it to face him.

Leonard opened his eyes, the light Jim was so used to seeing was gone. The silver spark, the delicate, gentle, compassionate fire that lived inside Leonard, inside his eyes, disappeared. And it hit Jim like a blow to the gut. Part of Leonard was slowly breaking and falling away, and he prayed he wasn’t too late to put it back together.

“You never would have done that because you have a heart of gold, Bones,” Jim steadied himself. “You don’t harm people, you help them. And if the situation were reversed, if it were me, I know you wouldn’t have stopped to get the answers but you never would have done it like he did. I know that because I know you, Bones, I see you and you never would have jeopardized someone’s life to get answers. You wouldn’t make someone pay for mistakes that weren’t their own,” his eyes never left Leonard’s, unblinking and saying _pleasepleasepleasebelievemeyouarebetterthanhimBonesplease_.

Leonard remained silent for some time before his forehead fell and his eyes softened, emotions rushing back.

“He just wanted to find out what happened to his wife, Jim,” Leonard almost sobbed.

“I know, Bones, but he could have done it in a different way, could have gotten the answers in a way that didn’t put anyone’s life in danger,” Jim ran his thumb over Leonard’s cheekbone.

“No one would have listened, no one would have cared. It’s been years.”

“You would have listened and helped him, I know you would have,” Jim nodded. “You would have done everything you could to help him. But Bones, he kidnapped you, he almost killed you, and that’s not to be taken lightly. I don’t know what I would have done if anything had happened to you.”

“That was his plan, or part of it at least,” Leonard staggered. “He was going to kill you if I didn’t help him and I couldn’t let that happen and by the end, he said he was going to kill me so you’d know how it felt even though you had nothing to do with this.”

And it crashed into Jim like a semi-truck. The realization that Leonard had endured all that pain and all that psychological abuse to protect him, to keep him alive. He was willing to die for him, and Jim couldn’t find his voice to speak.

“Bones,” Jim breathed, leaning to touch their foreheads together.

Leonard didn’t flinch, didn’t move, he let Jim hold him and melt into his skin. “What if…what if I could’ve saved so many people and I failed…what if, there was something, some damn thing I could have done but didn’t do. How many funerals wouldn’t have happened if I had just done my fucking job…”

“That isn’t your job, Bones,” Jim spoke, still connected with Leonard. “You bring closure, you make the city safer, you make sure some people don’t hurt anyone ever again. That’s a huge thing to be able to do, Bones.”

“Dozens of kidnapping cases, and I could have stopped them.”

“No, you couldn’t have because you’re human. I know sometimes it seems like you aren’t, but you are. You can’t predict the future, there is no way of knowing what could have happened. You did your best, and that’s so fucking good, Bones. That’s enough, that’s always enough. You gave everything you have.”

“Why does it feel like it was all for nothing?” Leonard choked.

“Because there’s always that one case,” Jim guided Leonard’s head into his shoulder, feeling Leonard’s arm go around his waist. “Because as sucky as it sounds, not everyone gets saved.”

\---

 

A month later, Leonard was back home, having been released from the hospital ten days earlier. He was given a three-month medical leave from the force that could be stretched if needed. He and Jim were falling back into their routine, something they were both comfortable with. Leonard’s ribs were still in the process of healing, and they were the worst to deal with at night, given that his favorite position to sleep in was on his side, his body lined up against Jim’s, but he couldn’t because he wasn’t allowed to put pressure on his fragile bones. Which generally meant that Leonard turned into an even grumpier block of cells every night. But Jim had a few ideas of how he could take his husband’s mind off it, and Leonard didn’t argue with the young man’s methods. If anything, he approved.

Having Leonard around all day was a weird thing for Jim, seeing that the man was gone for twelve hours six times a week before everything happened. He was grateful for Leonard’s presence, and promised himself that he’d make the most of it. Jim even took advantage of having Leonard around to show off his amazing cooking skills. Even after all the time they had known each other, Leonard still wasn’t fully aware of the madness his husband usually is in the kitchen.

Jim didn’t know how he’d deal with Leonard going back to work after his medical leave was up, he felt the heat leave his face at the mere thought of it but he pushed it to the back of his head for the time being. They’d cross that bridge when they get to it.

This whole thing wasn’t an adjustment only for Jim, but for Leonard as well. Halfway through his stay in the hospital, he began demanding to _get me out of this room, damn it. The walls are mocking me, Jim_ and went back to his usual Leonard McCoy self. The news of the hardheaded, irritable detective spread pretty quickly among the nurses, and soon enough, ninety-five percent of them would just avoid his room completely. That being most, not all. Nurse Christine Chapel was a different story. She was just as stubborn as Leonard, and his threats and heavy tongue did nothing to sway her, and she got her way with him. Jim was definitely impressed, raising his eyebrow whenever Leonard would argue but Christine would hold her ground, telling him to _eat the damn breakfast or you’ll starve till lunch_. Muttering a long string of curses under his breath, Leonard would reach out and swallow the yogurt. She’d smile and say _good, I’ll see you in a little while_. Leonard would turn to Jim and start complaining, to which Jim replies to with the cocky smile that he so wonderfully masters. It drove Leonard nuts.

“You’re straining yourself thinking,” Leonard spoke, tearing Jim from his thoughts.

“Hmm?”

“The worry lines are burned into your forehead,” Leonard huffed.

“Of course I’m worried, Bones.”

“Everything turned out fine.”

“I still can’t believe you keep saying that.”

“It’s true, though, it’s it?”

Jim stayed silent, nuzzling his face further into Leonard’ neck with a sigh.

They were both sitting on the couch, having just eaten pizza for dinner with two beer bottles pooling cool water on the table by their feet. They were leaning backwards against the cushions, Leonard’s arm wrapped around Jim’s shoulder holding him close, and Jim’s arm draped lightly over Leonard’s chest. Their feet were jumbled together, one of Jim’s resting between Leonard’s. Some film was playing on television but neither was paying attention to it.

Leonard kissed Jim’s temple and closed his eyes, taking in the scent that is all Jim.

“Back at the hospital,” Jim mumbled, “when I said I was sorry, the second time, I didn’t mean I was sorry because it was my fault.”

Leonard grabbed the remote control and switched off the television, giving Jim his full attention and waited.

Jim swallowed, gathering enough courage to continue. “I was sorry because I had given up. At some point, I lost all hope and I was so close to accepting that I was never going to see you again, that you were gone, and I would spend the rest of my life alone and broke, and a shadow. A shadow of the person I was when I was with you, a shadow of you.”

Leonard was caught up on the process of finding him, all the clues they had received and he was allowed to read the report in Pike’s presence. He understood how hard it was on all of them, especially on Jim. He had bullied Jim into grabbing something to eat in the cafeteria one day and spent that time talking with Chris. He silently asked what Jim was like, and Chris told him. He told him that he was a mess, that he was trying to keep it together, but failed sometimes. He told him that Jim wasn’t alone.

Jim returned the watch to his husband, but held onto the pendant, waiting for the right time to give that back.

Leonard gave Jim’s shoulder a small squeeze, telling him that it was okay.

“I never gave up on you, I always knew you would come back to me and I can’t believe I let that go when you needed me to believe in you the most. I let you down, Bones, I’m sorry.”

“It wasn’t easy Jim, I know that. All that matters is that you didn’t give up. It was overwhelming.”

“We didn’t know where you were, and we had nothing to go on and it was so fucking hard, Bones. You’re a part of me, I don’t know how to be me without you. I was so tired, and stressed, and God, I—lost it.”

“I was on the other end of this, and at times, I thought I wasn’t going to make it out. I thought I was going to die.”

Jim lifted his head, his gaze landing on Leonard, who seemed to stare into the distance, remembering.

“He’d walk out of the room and I would think that was it, it’s where it ends. But then I close my eyes, and I see you and all the things we haven’t done yet and it hurts, it hurt so much, but that’s how I knew I was still alive. And that is how I decided that I wasn’t going to die down there, this man will not be the end of me. I will get out of there, and I will make it back to you,” Leonard fixed his eyes on Jim’s.

“You know what gave me hope again? Amanda,” Jim whispered.

Leonard raised an eyebrow.

“I made a scene in the precinct and stormed out, Ny followed me, and next thing I knew she was dragging me to the nursery,” Jim chuckled.

“That sounds a lot like her,” Leonard joined.

Jim nodded. “That girl was the only one who made me smile. She reminded me of you, but took my mind off what was happening. She eased away the feeling of being broken and useless and I remembered the conversation that we had. About having a family and children, and I realized…”

Leonard held his breath, thrown off balance, completely not expecting that topic to be brought up in this moment.

“I was so stupid, Bones. I didn’t know that even I was capable of that level of stupidity. I was scared, and insecure and I was a fucking idiot. I’ve known that I wanted to start a family with you since, well, since forever. You handled me, surely a kid compared to that is nothing to worry about and they’ll have you as a father, and I…I can’t believe it took _this_ to happen for me to man the fuck up and admit it. Amanda made me realize that I’ve always known this, that having a kid with you would be the best thing to happen to us. Yeah, I’m terrified, I’m not going to lie, but I want this, I want this so badly, Bones. Knowing that I’ll start a family with you is what gave me hope again.”

Tears glittered in Leonard’s eyes, his heart fluttering with happiness and content, not quite believing what he was hearing. He wanted a family more than anything, but he wasn’t going to push Jim into it if he didn’t want it. He would not surviving losing Jim, and now, Jim wanted a family. He swallowed, overwhelmed and started falling in love with Jim all over again.

“That is of course if you still want to. Have a family….with me,” Jim added nervously.

Leonard replied with crushing his lips against Jim’s full ones in a desperate attempt to answer with _yes, yes, God Jim, yes_ , his hand going up to cup the side of Jim’s face and pulling him in further.

Jim immediately parted his lips, allowing his husband to slide in, the heat between them unbearable. Jim smiled into the kiss, deepening it and his hand mirrored Leonard’s, tugging lightly at the older man’s hair and exploring the mouth he had memorized. He felt Leonard’s relief and excitement and _are you sure, Jim?_ through their touch.

They aren’t sure who broke the kiss, but they both panted, their mouths still connected.

“I’m sure,” Jim nodded.

Leonard smiled, pecking Jim’s swollen lips. “We’re going to be parents,” a tear rolled down his cheek.

“Yeah,” Jim wiped the tear with his thumb, kissing the space right under Leonard’s eye. “Wait here.” Jim wiggled out of Leonard’s grip and trotted into their bedroom.

“Where are you going?” Leonard yelled after his husband.

“Close your eyes,” Jim called out from the bedroom. “Are you eyes closed?”

“Yes, you infant.”

“Okay,” Jim giggled, making his way back into the living room. He sat next to Leonard and crisscrossed his legs. “Okay, open up.”

Leonard opened his eyes and his jaw dropping open when he saw what was dangling from Jim’s hand.

“Jim…”

“I held onto it for a while, waiting for the right moment,” Jim smiled.

“I thought…I thought it was missing.”

“Chris gave it to me, told me to give it to you again.”

Leonard breathed out, closing his hand over Jim’s, his eyes moving along the golden pendant. He has felt naked ever since he found that the pendant was gone. Jim gave it to him, and it hurt to not have it on him all that time. But now, Jim was giving it to him once again.

“It broke my heart when I realized that I didn’t have it anymore. It was like I lost a part of you,” Leonard sighed.

“May I?”

Leonard nodded.

Jim smiled, looping the pendant through Leonard’s head and letting it fall against his chest. His hand rested on the pendant, holding it in place and looked up, his eyes meeting Leonard’s. “I’ll always be with you, Bones.”

Bones replied with another passionate kiss, pulling Jim into his lap.

Jim laughed against Leonard’s lips. “Hold your horses, cowboy,” Jim’s hand gently pushed Leonard backwards. “We shouldn’t be exhausting you.”

“I’ll do whatever I want with you, kid,” Bones claimed Jim’s lips before he could say another word and began lowering Jim onto the couch, his body pressed up against him.

“Yeah, okay,” Jim breathed, bringing Bones down with him, fumbling with the older man’s shirt. “You gotta—control yourself around t—the kid, Bones.”

“Hmm,” Bones hummed, his mouth sucking at the exposed skin of Jim’s neck. “Gotta seize every moment before—the kid’s here then.”

Leonard’s hot breath on Jim’s skin sent goosebumps shivering through his entire body, pushing his head backwards showing more skin for Leonard’s possessive mouth and ran his hand through his hair, driving them both a little crazier.

They didn’t make it to the bedroom.

\---

A girl, they decided. They were already familiar with girls because of the amount of time they spend with Amanda, but also because Leonard always wanted a baby girl. A boy, they agreed, would come later. Besides, it’s better to have a girl as the older sibling, Jim thought.

It’s been two months since they decided to start a family, and they had dove deep into the process, visiting the local orphanage and getting the paperwork started. It was a lot of paperwork. Jim had begun to freak out but Leonard held him, telling him that it was all going to be okay and they’ll be amazing parents, and Jim had calmed down, getting back to the paperwork.

Jim buried himself getting the necessary documents and filled out endless forms, for him and for Leonard.

“Jim, your next deadline is in ten days,” Leonard walked into the living room to see Jim hunched over the dinner table, which was covered with both, inked and clear papers.

“Later,” Jim shooed at Leonard.

“No, not later,” Leonard snatched the pen from Jim’s grip, earning himself a glare. But he is Leonard McCoy, damn it, Jim Kirk’s glare doesn’t achieve crap. “I’ll finish these up when I come back from my meeting with Pike. You need to work on your book.”

Jim sighed, rubbing his eyes. “Fine,” he mumbled.

It was the third, and final, draft of Jim’s novel. They had heard back from the editors two weeks into Leonard’s hospital stay, Jim had picked it up and began working on the changes they wanted in the hospital, taking his husband’s opinion every step of the way. He even got the editors to agree to a letter Jim wrote to Leonard on the first page of the novel, a dedication of sorts. Of course Leonard knows nothing about it. The novel would hit stands three months later. And that’s when Leonard would read the letter.

“Look, I know how much you want to take her home, hell, I can’t wait myself, but this isn’t everything,” Leonard kneeled in front of Jim, taking his hands.

“She cried when we left, Bones, and it broke my heart.”

“Mine too.”

“I just—I just don’t her to be away any more than necessary.”

“You’re already an amazing father, Jim,” Leonard kissed Jim’s forehead.

Joanna, the one-year-old girl that Leonard and Jim were currently in the process of adopting, is an angel sent from above. Her blue eyes identical to Jim, and her silky black hair that of Leonard’s, they both had an instant connection with the girl and fell in love with her in less than a second. She squealed when she saw them for the first time, her tiny arms shooting up in the air and they both took that as a good sign, that she felt the connection, too. She giggled when Leonard had picked her up and ran her small palms over his stubbly face, the texture of his skin making her even more excited as she attempted to bounce in his arms. Jim watched with a content smile, his family, he was now convinced, and couldn’t be happier.

Leonard was more forward and active and daring with Joanna when they visited her, which was pretty much every day, and Jim would give the little girl attention but he would leave the feeding and carrying to Leonard. Until one day, he arrived before Leonard did, having agreed to meet at the orphanage, and the little girl began to get frustrated at Jim, standing there beside the door. Reluctantly, he walked over and very gently slipped his hands under her arms and pulled her up, and she immediately calmed down. He cradled her against his chest, one hand settled on her lower back, keeping her in place and his other hand ran up and down her back in a soothing rhythm as he swayed them left and right. Soon, he felt her head get heavy against his body and took a peek, seeing that she was starting to doze off.

Jim turned to face the door and saw Leonard leaning against the doorframe, his arms crossed over his chest and a smirk on his face.

“How long have you been standing there?” Jim asked in a hushed tone.

“A while,” Leonard teased.

“I’m so scared to break her.”

“Kids are tougher than they look, Jim. Remember that fall she took last week? Got up like a champ.”

Leonard walked into the room and pressed a kiss to the sleeping girl’s head and then one to his husband’s lips.

Since that day, Jim almost never gave Joanna to Leonard to carry. The older man still did feed her, though.

\---

Leonard’s meeting with Chris stretched, and Jim had decided to clean out their closet, something they both have been meaning to do for a million years, until he came home. Jim heard the front door open and close and Leonard’s voice following.

“Jim?”

“Bedroom!”

“There’s something we have to—what the hell?” Leonard stopped short, seeing Jim literally sitting in a pool of their mixed clothes.

“What?”

“Are we moving and I’m not aware of it?” Leonard raised an eyebrow.

“No, no, I’m just cleaning it out.”

“Okay,” Leonard nodded. The things Jim did when he was bored.

“Anywho, you were saying?”

“Right. We, uh, there’s something we need to talk about.”

“What?” Jim’s face fell.

“I’m not talking about this when you’re sitting in that damn mess, come on,” Leonard extended his hand.

Jim took it and let himself be led into the living room and sat on the couch, facing Leonard.

“What is it? You’re scaring me, Bones. Is this about Pike?”

Leonard reached into the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out a folded piece of paper. He handed it to Jim without a word.

Jim took the paper and unfolded it, his eyes reading the title. “Wait, what?”

“Just keep reading.”

Jim looked at Leonard for a few more seconds and directed his eyes back to the paper, reading it to the end. When he was done, he faced Leonard.

Leonard unclipped his golden badge and placed it on the table next to him. “I’m giving it in.”

“How did Pike react to this?”

“He wasn’t happy, but he understands.”

“Why, though, Bones? You love it, you love what you do.”

“I do, but I think I’ve done it enough. I’ve put away countless criminals, and I earned the respect that I am proud to have. It’s time for something else. I’m not swaying too far away from it. I’m going to be teaching at the Police Academy.”

“You sure you want to be doing that? You can’t stand the kids.”

Leonard chuckled. “I’ll get by. I feel like I’ve done my part, I’ve made the streets safer. I’ve proven myself, and I’m satisfied. I see death every day, but I never knew what it meant to be alive until I met you, and what we have, I would never give that up, for anything. I almost died, I never thought it would happen to me, to us, but it did. And we came out the other side, stronger. Besides, I’m getting too damn old to be running around chasing down twenty something year olds.”

“Bones…”

“They could use my experience at the Academy, and the hours are more stable. No guns, except at the shooting range. Overall, I think it’s a smart move. Spock will have to find a new partner, God help whoever that will be.” Leonard took the paper from Jim’s hand, discarding it next to his badge and covered Jim’s hands with his own, continuing. “In two weeks, we’re going to bring our beautiful daughter home and we’ll be a family, and I don’t to be terrified that something will happen to me out there and I’d miss out on her entire life. That’s not why I want to have a kid. I want to be safer, for her, for you, for me. For a long time, I had no one to go home to so it didn’t matter what happened to me. Then I had you and I started taking it down a notch, then two and now we’re going to have Jo. I have you and her to come home to now and that means absolutely everything. The city is in good hands, I know it, I’ve seen it, and I’ve been it. It’s time to pass on the torch. And what better way to do that than to educate young, vibrant minds about how it’s done?”

“ _’Vibrant minds_ ’? Really, Bones?”

“I’m trying here,” Leonard huffed.

“You have no idea how glad I am to hear this, you really don’t. My blood pressure won’t rise every time you leave the house for one, but I just want to make sure that you won’t regret this decision.”

“I won’t. What I’ll regret is if I don’t grow old with you, if I don’t watch that angel grow up.”

“Okay,” Jim nodded, connecting their foreheads. “Do I get to call you ‘professor’ now?”

“You’re a little shit, Jim, you know that?”

“I love you, too, Bones,” Jim chuckled.

\---

Jim sighed, his body sprawled out next to Leonard’s warm one, his arm hanging loosely around his husband’s bare chest. He lazily opened his eyes and looked up, expecting to see Leonard’s eyes still closed but they were actually wide open, and the sleep had disappeared from the hazel irises, with the sun shinning through the window bouncing off them.

“You’re getting pretty good at pretending to be sleeping,” Jim adjusted his head on Leonard’s chest once again.

“Learned from the best,” Leonard mumbled, planting a kiss to Jim’s hair. “How’d you sleep?”

“Like a baby,” Jim chuckled.

On cue, small whines shot through the baby monitor on Jim’s nightstand, being the one to put the little girl to bed the previous night. Jim rolled over and watched the small screen, Joanna was rolling around her crib, clearly awake and in need of attention.

“Well, she’s right on time,” Jim raised an eyebrow.

“Glad she slept through the night,” Leonard said.

“She was exhausted, remind me again why we decided that driving for fifteen hours was a good idea?” Jim sighed.

“I was actually kidding, never thought you would agree.”

“I didn’t,” Jim gasped.

“Yeah, you kinda did,” Leonard chuckled.

“You’re a jerk,” Jim slapped Leonard’s arm.

“It was fun, though.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m gonna go to her before she starts screaming,” he leaned down, giving Leonard a quick kiss and rolled out of bed, heading to the room next to theirs.

Two weeks from today, Leonard starts teaching at the Police Academy, and as much as he was excited, he was also quiet terrified. When the day had come to hand in his gun and his badge ten days earlier, Leonard was having a little difficulty letting go of the badge, but then he remembered Jim and Jo waiting for him at home and it was the easiest thing he had done in his entire life, aside from deciding to ask Jim to marry him.

He heard Jim’s voice through the baby monitor and smiled, already imagining the scene unfolding in the next room.

“Morning, munchkin,” Jim leaned over Jo’s crib, her arms shooting up with joy at his appearance. “You slept through the night, huh?”

Jo giggled, her small hands pushing against Jim’s cheeks.

“I’ll take that as a ‘yes’,” Jim smiled, sliding his hands under her body and lifted her into his arms. “Let’s say good morning to your dad and get some breakfast.”

Leonard was already sitting on the bed with his feet on the floor when Jim walked in, Jo balanced on his hips. She immediately reached out for Leonard, and let Jim pass her into his arms.

“Hi, sweetheart,” Leonard pecked the girls’ forehead. “It’s good to see you, too,” he said when she bounced happily in his lap, her hands stuck to his face.

“What’s your trick?” Jim eyed his husband.

“I think it’s the beard, she’s very fond of it,” Leonard shrugged. “It makes her excited, I guess.”

Joanna had, in fact, grown attached to Leonard’s stubble, her hands automatically going to his face when he held her. She could hold onto Jim’s shirt, if he were wearing one, but was always fascinated with Leonard’s facial hair. Leonard loved it.

“Well, she isn’t the only one,” Jim teased, moving forward and picked Jo from Leonard’s lap. “Get your pretty pretty behind out of bed, I’ll make breakfast. The water looks amazing today.”

Leonard changed into his swimming trunks and made his way into the kitchen, the aroma of freshly made waffles with cinnamon made his stomach growl. Jo was already seating in her highchair, playing with a couple of building blocks, and Jim was still in his boxers.

“You’re amazing,” Leonard wrapped his body around Jim’s from behind, snuggling his face into Jim’s neck.

“And you sure know it,” Jim chuckled, leaning back into Leonard’s strong grip.

“Smug bastard,” Leonard whispered into Jim’s ear, his voice low and heavy, hitting Jim in all the right places.

But they have a daughter now, who is currently sitting right behind them so Leonard unwillingly let go of Jim, unable to be responsible for what would have happened next.

As soon as the transfer papers were finalized, Chris had thrown a farewell party for Leonard at his place. He had a decent sized backyard and there was a grill, beer, and good music. You could even call it a barbeque if you want. Everyone was there, and they all showed how much they’re going to miss Leonard working with them. They truly were a family, and it made them sad to see him go. The next morning, Leonard had suggested that crazy idea of them driving to Iowa and two hours later, after throwing their clothes into one big suitcase and putting Joanna’s seat in car, they found themselves on their way. They stumbled into Jim’s family’s beach house fifteen hours later, starving but too tired to eat, they shed off their clothes and crawled into bed after Jim put the already sleeping Jo in her crib.

Leonard stepped out onto the porch when they finished breakfast, taking in the fresh air and golden sand, watching as the shiny waves crashed against the shore. It was a good move, he decided, regardless that it was taken in the spur of the moment, but it was a much needed break from the city, especially after everything that had happened. Both Leonard and Jim needed some time away, and now that they had Jo too, it was the perfect trip to take.

“You’re right, the water looks really good, darlin’,” Leonard spoke over his shoulder to Jim.

Moments later, Jim joined him on the porch, having changed into his own swimming suit and carrying Jo in his arms. “Wanna go for a swim?”

“Sure thing,” Leonard nodded, already loving this mini-vacation.

\---

“How does it feel?” Nyota asked over the phone.

“Hmm?”

“Knowing that Len won’t be on the streets anymore, that he’ll be safe.”

“God, Ny, that’s everything I ever wanted. I admire everything he did for the city, but he was right when he said that he had given enough. In my opinion, he had given enough a long time ago but I couldn’t give him an ultimatum. I couldn’t have said: me or your job, I wasn’t going to make him choose. I know he’d choose me, I never second-guess that, but what kind of husband would I have been if I had torn him away from what he loves? What he’s damn good at? I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself, let alone pretend that everything was okay. So I swallowed it down and held my ground, and prayed that he’d come home to me every night. And one night, he didn’t come home and I knew that I had to put my foot down. Luckily, he put his own foot before I could put down mine. I know he misses it, he doesn’t even bother hiding it sometimes, you know. The adrenaline rush, the chase, but I know he took the right decision. And that was actually the most important thing for me, for him to take it. I didn’t want to talk him into anything, I wanted it to come from him. If I had forced him to quit, I knew the day would come when he’d look at me and remember that, remember that I took him away from it and I would lose him. And I would not have survived losing him.”

“He’s home now,” Nyota smiled on the other end of the line.

“He’d say he was always home, but I would say he finally settled down.”

“You know, if you had adopted a boy, he and Am would have definitely been a thing.”

Jim chuckled. “Don’t be in a hurry to give her away.”

“Seriously?” Nyota’s voice peeked.

“Maybe, not anytime soon, though. But yeah,” Jim nodded. “Besides, the age difference won’t be that much of an issue. Me and Bones turned out fine.”

“A boy and a girl, huh. You two are going to have a handful with those.”

“You’re telling me that you and Spock aren’t planning on having more children?” Jim raised an eyebrow.

“No, no. One is all we need. Besides, now she has a sister and she’ll have a future husband because of you and Len.”

“We expect babysitting favors to be returned, Ny.”

“Fair enough, Jim,” Nyota chuckled.

“Watched you and Spock do it long enough, didn’t we?”

“And now look where you are,” Nyota teased.

“I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be,” Jim beamed. “We went for a swim and the water was beautiful. Jo tried to swim on her own, kept wiggling in my arms. She’s a feisty little thing.”

“I wonder who she takes after,” Nyota laughed.

“Bones, definitely Bones.”

“Right.”

“How long are you staying in Iowa?”

“Don’t know, not more than two weeks because Bones starts at the Academy then, but probably ten days or so.”

“You guys have a blast, God knows you’ve earned it.”

Jim talked with Nyota for a few more minutes and hung up, walking outside just in time to see Leonard shiver and wrap his arms around himself.

“You cold, old man?”

“Shut up, Jim,” Leonard hissed. “The sun went down, the wind is getting colder. I had to wrap Jo in her jacket,” he gestured to their daughter, who was sitting by Leonard’s feet occupying herself with more building blocks.

Jim chuckled, and grabbed Leonard’s hoodie, tossing it his way. Leonard grumbled but slid it on, immediately feeling warmer. Jim took Leonard’s hand and pulled him up to his feet. Leonard reached down and picked up Jo, her back against his chest with his arm under her, keeping her steady. Jim stopped them by the stairs, sitting down and burying his feet in the cool sand. Leonard sat next to him, still holding Jo against his body and balancing her small figure on his thigh.

“This was a good idea,” Jim whispered.

“This was a good idea.”

Silently, Jim reached for Leonard’s hand and intertwined their fingers together, looking up to meet the other man’s soft gaze. They both leaned in, and mingled in a slow, passionate kiss, the heat between them warming their bodies. It wasn’t desperate, wasn’t messy, it was calm and heartfelt and _just right_ , just like the waves ahead. It was a kiss worth more than a million dollars.

Jim kept his eyes closed for a few moments after they broke apart, wanting to salvage and feel every last bit of their connection. He opened his eyes, and felt naked and vulnerable from the way Leonard was looking at him. It was moments like these that Jim found himself falling in love with the man all over again, those moments where he comes undone simply from a look, a gaze, a spark, a promise.

Jim leaned his head on Leonard’s shoulder, his free hand went around Jo’s body, landing on the older man’s.

“I loved this place when I was a kid,” Jim whispered, almost to himself. “You can see the stars so clearly, you can see them twinkle and you wonder what’s up there. I would run away from home sometimes, my mom would find me here. She eventually stopped looking for me, but I wasn’t always here,” he exhaled, looking up into the night sky. “Sometimes I thought about swimming out into the water and just letting it take me, I would drift off anywhere, I wouldn’t fight it and maybe I would land among the stars. It’s quite a mystery, which stars are dead and which ones are alive, yet they all shine the same. Maybe that’s what I wanted, or that was the only way I thought I would live on, to be among the stars,” a tear rolled down Jim’s cheek.

Jim turned to face Leonard, his breath catching in his throat when he saw tears mirroring his own.

“The last time I was here,” Jim continued, “I didn’t have anyone, I was all alone and I wanted to die. And here I am, with you and with Jo…if I had done what I intended to do last time I was here, I never would have met you, but I couldn’t go through with it. I didn’t know what life meant until I met you,” tears began blurring his vision. “You saved me, Bones, you did,” Jim’s voice shook.

Leonard untangled their hands and threw his arm around Jim, pulling him into his chest protectively, trying to hold Jim as close as he could, while making sure his grip on Jo was still tight. Jim squeezed his eyes shut and wanted to disappear inside Leonard, where he knew he’d always be loved and safe and cherished.

“We’ll shine, Jim, for the longest time, darlin’. We’ll shine,” Leonard let his eyelids drop, a tear escaping down his cheek. He held Jim and Joanna for the longest time, for as long as the stars lit the sky. This, Leonard had realized, is what it means to be in the right place, at the right time. And the feeling that their love has only just begun taking over.

Their love will continue to glow through the ages, for a love that strong never burns out.


End file.
